IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

too much emphasis is placed on education. more government money should be spent on providing free-time activities.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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there has been controversy about whether more funds be spent on
educaional
Correct your spelling
educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 or on providing recreational
activities
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. From my perspective, I am
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion that the
government
Use synonyms
 should allocate more money for
such
Linking Words
 leisure time
activities
Use synonyms
 which as important. I will discuss my arguments in the following paragraphs. Undoubtedly, most
government
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's concern is on the progress of the nation.
In other words
Linking Words
, more money spent on educational aspects, as the educated people will be paid more and it leads to
Correct article usage
a boots
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boots
Correct your spelling
boost
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the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 economy of the country. An educated economy is
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
 to be crime-free and
peacful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
. In today's world , the literacy level of people is a factor
to determine
Change preposition
in determining
show examples
 the status of the country around the world. In Iran,
for example
Linking Words
, there are
numerious
Correct your spelling
a
 number of
scholorships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 to
students
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 will focus on their educational
activities
Use synonyms
 rather than other type of
activities
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 which help their mind
balancing
Wrong verb form
balance
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, life is stressful, and
free- time
Correct your spelling
free-time
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 act like stress-busters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, healthy people
needs
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need
show examples
 for healthy community which
finally
Linking Words
 accounts for
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
 country. There should be an equivalent balance for
Use synonyms
government's
Change noun form
government
show examples
 funds not only for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for welfare
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 which
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 critical. In some universities,
for instance
Linking Words
, there are recreational facilities in
accommodation
Correct article usage
the accommodation
show examples
 area
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 can spend their time in there after
a
Change the article
an
show examples
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
show examples
 day, communicate with peers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
share concerns and assist each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the more pay heed to
Add an article
the phycological
a phycological
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phycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
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 dimension of
body
Add an article
a body
the body
show examples
 , the more
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 can
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from their
nind
Correct your spelling
own
 performance. In conclusion,
alocate
Correct your spelling
allocate
locate
 money to invest
side
Change preposition
in side
show examples
 facilities
as well as
Linking Words
 playgrounds and
Correct article usage
a hoby
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hoby
Correct your spelling
hobby
 centre
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important to encourage
students
Use synonyms
 to
fucos
Correct your spelling
focus
 on education. In future, all institutions should be applied
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 features in their centres.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks a clear position or argument. It also lacks relevant specific examples to support the ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat disorganized, the introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented, and the main points are not effectively supported.
lexical resource
The essay contains a mix of vocabulary, but there are inaccuracies and lack of variety in expressions.
grammatical range
There are issues with sentence structure, verb tenses, and punctuation. The essay lacks complexity and accuracy in language use.
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