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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Crime can. Be controlled by individual or at government level. Discuss both views.

#crime #government #level
these days,
crime
 causes major concern in everyday life when it comes to controlling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal activity there are different opinions on the matter it is important to explore both sides of the argument to gain a comprehensive understanding in
this
 essay both sides of the topic will be discussed followed by my opinion to commence with, many of us prevent the
crime
 rate it is believed by many that
Correct your spelling
police
Correct article usage
a ploice
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ploice
Correct your spelling
police
 is not always guaranteed to be at the right spot of
crime
Add an article
the crime
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 scene so if there is any
crime
 activity
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
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then
 one
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to know how to deal with by using a technique
such
 kung fu , karate or self defence objects
for instance
 in japan a mandatory implement of self-
dfence
Correct your spelling
defence
 has authorized by the authority to prevent any illegal activity that happened during a daytime
that is
 why japan has the most fewer
crime
 rate in today's history
on the other hand
, there is a limit to what an individual can do on their own for major concern to
leesen
Correct your spelling
lessen
 the ratio of
crime
 government bodies should be appointed on hot places
such
 as in streets or
abandon
Wrong verb form
abandoned
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building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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moreover
 there should be a strict
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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 to deterrents to those needy minds and help reduce
crime
 rate to a great extent in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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crime
 cannot be
exile
Wrong verb form
exiled
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 but it can
be handle
Change the verb form
be handled
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 to some point
however
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe the more people get educated the lesser the
crime
 burden on the government authority
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task, presents a clear position, and provides relevant examples for both views.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns to create a more coherent structure. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points.
lexical resource
Focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and aim for more precise word choice to enhance the essay's lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence types to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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