Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #profit #company #profits

Employment has been an inevitable aspect of one's life since time immemorial. Masses of people believe that young

employers

Correct your spelling

employees

show examples

make more money

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than older

whereas

Correct pronoun usage

ones whereas

show examples

others assert that aged ones get more

profit

in their company or firms.

Correct your spelling

show examples

my opinion

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the first notion

Verb problem

apply

show examples

outweighing

Replace the word

outweighs

show examples

than

other phenomenon

Change the wording

another phenomenon

other phenomena

show examples

. On the one hand. There are enormous causative factors behind

this

factor. First and foremost

is that

Verb problem

show examples

youngsters are more skilled and very knowledgeable people in the cutting-edge era as they get

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

education as well

proper

Correct word choice

as proper

show examples

technical skills in our academics.

For instance

, a recent study depicts that a good percentage of companies require less than

40 years aged

Correct your spelling

40-year-old

workers. Supporting the other view that older persons are well experienced and they know past things in their companies which would help firm's development and

profit

. Because of that, the owners of the institution

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

provided high salaries for the aged workers. As these employers are verge of retirement, they want a high income to reduce their family burden. To elucidate it,'

mukesh ambani

Correct your spelling

Mukesh Ambani

show examples

' is a

50 year old

Add a hyphen

50-year-old

show examples

person and he has made

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

level

profit

Change preposition

of profit

show examples

in "

lulu mall

Correct your spelling

Lulu Mall

show examples

". In

additon

Correct your spelling

addition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age

is not matter

Change the verb form

does not matter

show examples

employment

Add an article

the employment

show examples

sector.

Besides

, the cause of

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

money not only

indicate

Correct subject-verb agreement

indicates

show examples

one's age but

skill

Rephrase

also skill

show examples

, ability and so on. To recapitulate,the job has been a major concern of every life. As l am concerned, the new generation brings more

profit

to their company because they are highly skilled.

Submitted by shahinka.687 on Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses both views thoroughly and provides balanced arguments for each perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to the logical structure of the essay and ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points.

Lexical Resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and concepts more precisely. Also, work on using appropriate collocations and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range

Focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Adaptable
Innovations
Breakthroughs
Deep industry knowledge
Mentors
Fostering
Workforce balance
Maximizing profits
Enthusiasm
Wisdom

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: Explain what you are currently doing Describe your suitability for this area of work Say when you can attend an interview.
I am writing to apply for the waiter position in your restaurant-"DIYDOR", that you have advertised in a local newspaper recently. I would really appreciate it if you could spare some of your precious time to further discuss my candidacy in a formal interview.
6
band
These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?
One of the most significant issues today relates to the fact that children spend too many hours enjoying video games and a majority of parents regard this negatively. In this essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I partially agree with that statement.
7
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding improving public health has been a prominent topic. While some people believe that increasing the number of sports facilities, such as gyms, can significantly enhance public health, others argue that this phenomenon is a multifaceted challenge and a comprehensive approach is required. From my perspective, while increasing the number of sports facilities is a positive step, it should be part of a broader strategy to improve public health.
5
band
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? Explain your position.
In this era, no one can deny that technology and businesses are constantly on the rise.However,in this essay, I totally oppose when it comes to facing a company that wishes to build a large factory near your community and I will further elaborate on both arguments along with my own perspective.
<4
band
With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such area?
Nowadays, the proportion of oil and gas' needs tend to rice. This situation has forced people to find those two specific resources in unusual places in distant. In my opinion, I would say that the idea can bring negatives like deforestation and environmental damage as compared to any benefit it might bring.

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? Explain your position.

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such area?