Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #profit #company #profits

Employment has been an inevitable aspect of one's life since time immemorial. Masses of people believe that young

employers

Correct your spelling

employees

show examples

make more money

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than older

whereas

Correct pronoun usage

ones whereas

show examples

others assert that aged ones get more

profit

in their company or firms.

Correct your spelling

show examples

my opinion

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the first notion

Verb problem

apply

show examples

outweighing

Replace the word

outweighs

show examples

than

other phenomenon

Change the wording

another phenomenon

other phenomena

show examples

. On the one hand. There are enormous causative factors behind

this

factor. First and foremost

is that

Verb problem

show examples

youngsters are more skilled and very knowledgeable people in the cutting-edge era as they get

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

education as well

proper

Correct word choice

as proper

show examples

technical skills in our academics.

For instance

, a recent study depicts that a good percentage of companies require less than

40 years aged

Correct your spelling

40-year-old

workers. Supporting the other view that older persons are well experienced and they know past things in their companies which would help firm's development and

profit

. Because of that, the owners of the institution

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

provided high salaries for the aged workers. As these employers are verge of retirement, they want a high income to reduce their family burden. To elucidate it,'

mukesh ambani

Correct your spelling

Mukesh Ambani

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' is a

50 year old

Add a hyphen

50-year-old

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person and he has made

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

level

profit

Change preposition

of profit

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in "

lulu mall

Correct your spelling

Lulu Mall

show examples

". In

additon

Correct your spelling

addition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age

is not matter

Change the verb form

does not matter

show examples

employment

Add an article

the employment

show examples

sector.

Besides

, the cause of

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

money not only

indicate

Correct subject-verb agreement

indicates

show examples

one's age but

skill

Rephrase

also skill

show examples

, ability and so on. To recapitulate,the job has been a major concern of every life. As l am concerned, the new generation brings more

profit

to their company because they are highly skilled.

Submitted by shahinka.687 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses both views thoroughly and provides balanced arguments for each perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to the logical structure of the essay and ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points.

Lexical Resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and concepts more precisely. Also, work on using appropriate collocations and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range

Focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Adaptable
Innovations
Breakthroughs
Deep industry knowledge
Mentors
Fostering
Workforce balance
Maximizing profits
Enthusiasm
Wisdom

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Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?