The pie charts below show the results of a surveys into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995.

#show #results #surveys #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults

The pie

graph

demostrated

Correct your spelling

demonstrated

demonstrates

Correct article usage

the differente

show examples

differente

Correct your spelling

different

types of leisure

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

by European adults in 1985 and 1995. The first

graph

shows five

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

although

the

second

graph

presents one more. In general, the topic "watching TV" did not change a lot with only

Correct article usage

a 2

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

difference,

on the other hand

, "eating outside" had a decrease of 15%

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

long of these years. "Playing computer game" showed up as a new category of activity in 1995, it was not in the previous

graph

and,

in addition

, it got the

second

position with a little bit over than 25%, before the

second

position was

occupated

Verb problem

occupied

show examples

by "talking with friends".

Clarity

Add an article

The clarity

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

displayed how the

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

had

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed with technology

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

the most curious that "talking with friends" had

Change the article

show examples

increase of 5% between the first survive in 1985 to the

second

survive in 1995,

otherwise

"talking with family" had a great decrease of almost 10% less between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

years. In fact, the

graph

talking

Wrong verb form

talks

show examples

about how the

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

had been

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

changed over the years and how one unique thing could change the way

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

could

Verb problem

apply

show examples

live their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

Submitted by cristina.gpereira on Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, second with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

192 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to raise the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been observed that the Earth struggle with the nummerous issues such as air , noise and different types of pollutions by transports . Although some people believe that increasing the value of petrol for vehicles is the best path for the sollution of this problems. I agree with the given statement. My incilination is elaborated in ensuing paragraph and relevant examples .
<4
band
Language teachers should concentrate on giving positive feedback to students when they do good work, rather than on criticising bad work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I do disagree if language teachers only concentrate to give positive feedback for good work to students rather than criticising the bad work for the reason to building students' knowledgement even to advance the language skill, criticising to bad work is another level for language teachers to showing if students have finished in wrong way. If students always have positive feedback without knowing the wrong result of their work, the students will never know the mistake for what they've done. Criticising can't be assumed to make the students in down level, but it supports their works must be better in future. They must understand which is the good work and the bad work, in this reason they improve their skill.
4.5
band
Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?
Law juries in the United Kingdom and Australia can not be permitted to approach the previous criminal history of accused people. However, some legal professionals call for a change in this process. They expressed their opinion that it is necessary to be disclosed for the judges before making any informed decision. In my opinion, I also agree with the given suggestion. In
5
band
Today family members eat fewer meals together. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
For some reason nowadays people seldom get together to have meals with their families. Compared with the past, there are some attraction and activities that people think is more important. To support my statement, this essay will interpret my view and related reasons.
7.5
band
Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that developed countries should allow more evacuees to enter their borders and give them primary support, such as food and shelter. The essay agrees with this statement because rich countries are capable enough to support these kind of people.

The pie charts below show the results of a surveys into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995.

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to raise the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Language teachers should concentrate on giving positive feedback to students when they do good work, rather than on criticising bad work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today family members eat fewer meals together. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?