IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar graph illustrates the data of the expenditure of
France
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 consuming cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
France
Use synonyms
 is
descripted
Correct your spelling
described
with
Change preposition
as
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 blue and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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 with orange color. Both the countries
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent the highest on cars
whereas
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 spent the lowest on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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perfumes
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
France
Use synonyms
 which has
least
Change the article
the least
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 expenditure on cameras. The consumer rate is highest for cars in both nations
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is 4,50,000
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
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 for blue and 4,00,000 for orange
while
Linking Words
 computers
have
Verb problem
are
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 a little less
expense
Replace the word
expensive
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to vehicles around 3,50,000 to 3,70,000. Orange has the lowest percentage
on
Change preposition
of
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 perfumes below 1,50,000
whereas
Linking Words
, 2,00,000 for blue.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, books are between the average for country blue
while
Linking Words
 it is slightly higher for
France
Use synonyms
. Cameras have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 rate of 1,50,000 for
France
Use synonyms
 and 3,50,000 for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
.
Submitted by noorainfatima135 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, whereas, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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