Some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthday and weddings while others think it is waste of money.

In today's context, different types of celebrations are taking place in the world. Domestic occasions
such
as weddings, and birthdays are a few of the private celebrations shared among family members. Some individuals believe
that is
it vital to spend a lump amount of cash to commemorate
such
events
whereas
some think is it just a waste of funds. In
this
essay, both views will be discussed followed by a conclusion.
To begin
with, celebrating
events
within the family plays a valuable factor in keeping the bond strong among the family members,
therefore
many families consider celebrating family get-togethers and plan
events
lavishly. Most of the individuals spend on
events
based on their spending power and status in the community. As an example,the richest person in India, Mr Mukesh Ambani spending crores for his birthday justifies his status.
On the other hand
, family
events
are an investment to create memories to cherish in the future.
However
, it is a just one-day celebration and in my view, it is not recommended to waste a whole lot of savings on
such
events
perhaps spending a minimal budget could advisable.
For instance
, spending lakhs on flowers for a wedding is a waste because floral arrangements are used only for a day and cannot be reused after the event. In a nutshell, family
events
should be joyful and a moment to create moments despite the amount of money spent. In conclusion, I strongly disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
spending a lot of money on domestic
events
but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
spending a minimal amount is suggested.
Birthday
Correct article usage
A birthday
show examples
or a wedding is always a great moment to celebrate
therefore
it is necessary to understand the concept and plan how to conduct these
events
on a budget rather than these
events
bring adverse effects
such
as
bankrupt
Replace the word
bankruptcy
show examples
or other family problems in the future.
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task response
Ensure that all main points are elaborated and supported with clear and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is good, but ensure that there is a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary used and consider using more diverse and precise expressions to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
Make sure to use a wide range of grammatical structures and sentence types to demonstrate greater control over language.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Significance
  • Essential
  • Essence
  • Investment
  • Nurture
  • Bond
  • Celebrate
  • Milestone
  • Achievement
  • Commemorate
  • Tradition
  • Criticism
  • Extravagant
  • Budget-friendly
  • Intimate
  • Alternatives
  • Pragmatic
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