Some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthday and weddings while others think it is waste of money.

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In today's context, different types of celebrations are taking place in the world. Domestic occasions

such

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as weddings, and birthdays are a few of the private celebrations shared among family members. Some individuals believe

that is

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it vital to spend a lump amount of cash to commemorate

such

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events

Use synonyms

whereas

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some think is it just a waste of funds. In

this

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essay, both views will be discussed followed by a conclusion.

To begin

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with, celebrating

events

Use synonyms

within the family plays a valuable factor in keeping the bond strong among the family members,

therefore

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many families consider celebrating family get-togethers and plan

events

Use synonyms

lavishly. Most of the individuals spend on

events

Use synonyms

based on their spending power and status in the community. As an example,the richest person in India, Mr Mukesh Ambani spending crores for his birthday justifies his status.

On the other hand

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, family

events

Use synonyms

are an investment to create memories to cherish in the future.

However

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, it is a just one-day celebration and in my view, it is not recommended to waste a whole lot of savings on

such

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events

Use synonyms

perhaps spending a minimal budget could advisable.

For instance

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, spending lakhs on flowers for a wedding is a waste because floral arrangements are used only for a day and cannot be reused after the event. In a nutshell, family

events

Use synonyms

should be joyful and a moment to create moments despite the amount of money spent. In conclusion, I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

spending a lot of money on domestic

events

Use synonyms

but in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

spending a minimal amount is suggested.

Birthday

Correct article usage

A birthday

show examples

or a wedding is always a great moment to celebrate

therefore

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it is necessary to understand the concept and plan how to conduct these

events

Use synonyms

on a budget rather than these

events

Use synonyms

bring adverse effects

such

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bankrupt

Replace the word

bankruptcy

show examples

or other family problems in the future.

shazraibrahimphotography2Sat Nov 11 2023

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task response

Ensure that all main points are elaborated and supported with clear and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is good, but ensure that there is a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs.

lexical resource

Vary the vocabulary used and consider using more diverse and precise expressions to enhance the quality of writing.

grammatical range

Make sure to use a wide range of grammatical structures and sentence types to demonstrate greater control over language.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Significance
Essential
Essence
Investment
Nurture
Bond
Celebrate
Milestone
Achievement
Commemorate
Tradition
Criticism
Extravagant
Budget-friendly
Intimate
Alternatives
Pragmatic

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Some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthday and weddings while others think it is waste of money.

Your opinion

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Many poducts that we buy are made in other countries. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own

Some people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.