Some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthday and weddings while others think it is waste of money.
In today's context, different types of celebrations are taking place in the world. Domestic occasions
such
as weddings, and birthdays are a few of the private celebrations shared among family members. Some individuals believe that is
it vital to spend a lump amount of cash to commemorate such
events
whereas
some think is it just a waste of funds. In this
essay, both views will be discussed followed by a conclusion.
To begin
with, celebrating events
within the family plays a valuable factor in keeping the bond strong among the family members, therefore
many families consider celebrating family get-togethers and plan events
lavishly. Most of the individuals spend on events
based on their spending power and status in the community. As an example,the richest person in India, Mr Mukesh Ambani spending crores for his birthday justifies his status.
On the other hand
, family events
are an investment to create memories to cherish in the future. However
, it is a just one-day celebration and in my view, it is not recommended to waste a whole lot of savings on such
events
perhaps spending a minimal budget could advisable. For instance
, spending lakhs on flowers for a wedding is a waste because floral arrangements are used only for a day and cannot be reused after the event. In a nutshell, family events
should be joyful and a moment to create moments despite the amount of money spent.
In conclusion, I strongly disagree on
spending a lot of money on domestic Change preposition
with
events
but in my opinion
spending a minimal amount is suggested. Add a comma
opinion,
Birthday
or a wedding is always a great moment to celebrate Correct article usage
A birthday
therefore
it is necessary to understand the concept and plan how to conduct these events
on a budget rather than these events
bring adverse effects such
as bankrupt
or other family problems in the future.Replace the word
bankruptcy
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task response
Ensure that all main points are elaborated and supported with clear and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is good, but ensure that there is a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary used and consider using more diverse and precise expressions to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
Make sure to use a wide range of grammatical structures and sentence types to demonstrate greater control over language.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?