Some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthday and weddings while others think it is waste of money.

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In today's context, different types of celebrations are taking place in the world. Domestic occasions
such
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as weddings, and birthdays are a few of the private celebrations shared among family members. Some individuals believe
that is
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it vital to spend a lump amount of cash to commemorate
such
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events
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whereas
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some think is it just a waste of funds. In
this
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essay, both views will be discussed followed by a conclusion.
To begin
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with, celebrating
events
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within the family plays a valuable factor in keeping the bond strong among the family members,
therefore
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many families consider celebrating family get-togethers and plan
events
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lavishly. Most of the individuals spend on
events
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based on their spending power and status in the community. As an example,the richest person in India, Mr Mukesh Ambani spending crores for his birthday justifies his status.
On the other hand
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, family
events
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are an investment to create memories to cherish in the future.
However
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, it is a just one-day celebration and in my view, it is not recommended to waste a whole lot of savings on
such
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events
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perhaps spending a minimal budget could advisable.
For instance
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, spending lakhs on flowers for a wedding is a waste because floral arrangements are used only for a day and cannot be reused after the event. In a nutshell, family
events
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should be joyful and a moment to create moments despite the amount of money spent. In conclusion, I strongly disagree
on
Change preposition
with
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spending a lot of money on domestic
events
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but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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spending a minimal amount is suggested.
Birthday
Correct article usage
A birthday
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or a wedding is always a great moment to celebrate
therefore
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it is necessary to understand the concept and plan how to conduct these
events
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on a budget rather than these
events
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bring adverse effects
such
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as
bankrupt
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bankruptcy
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or other family problems in the future.
Submitted by shazraibrahimphotography2 on

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task response
Ensure that all main points are elaborated and supported with clear and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is good, but ensure that there is a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary used and consider using more diverse and precise expressions to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Significance
  • Essential
  • Essence
  • Investment
  • Nurture
  • Bond
  • Celebrate
  • Milestone
  • Achievement
  • Commemorate
  • Tradition
  • Criticism
  • Extravagant
  • Budget-friendly
  • Intimate
  • Alternatives
  • Pragmatic
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