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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
There are two ways that
people
 deal with bad
situations
: accept the tragedy and improve it. Personally, trying to figure out and improve is the best choice when handling bad
situations
. There are reasons to support the claim.
To begin
 with,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of trying to improve the bad
situations
 are obvious.
Firstly
, it is a way that
people
 can improve themselves as they have to find a way to escape from
this
 tragedy.
This
 will improve their skills in problem solving which increases the opportunity to be successful.
In addition
, it is difficult to do things that you are not comfortable with;
consequently
, the outcome would certainly not be good.
Nonetheless
, if they make some
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 and improve it, they will be capable of doing better.
Furthermore
, if it is in jobs, they probably get higher income
due to
 better work being done.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other aspect, some
people
 do not make any changes and just simply accept it,
this
 might work sometimes as it prevents things
to get
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
 worse.
However
, these
situations
 might not occur just once;
hence
, if
people
 do not improve, the same situation may happen again in the future, and they will not be capable of solving it as they have never tried.
Thus
, it will probably be repeated in the future. In summary, it depends on the person how they are going to deal with the situation they are facing, but the outcome
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be better when you try to improve compared to
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 it. By trying to solve these
situations
, they will be able to improve themselves and gain more life skills.
Moreover
, there will be more opportunities for them to be successful.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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overall
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, there are areas for improvement in coherence, cohesion, lexical resource, and grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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