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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
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The given line graph illustrates the changed amount over the years between 1970 and 2040 in four different
countries
Use synonyms
 of Asia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it appears that almost all the states given are facing an upward trend throughout the period given.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of
population
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 in
Malaysia
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 outnumbered other
countries
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 by until 2020 and is predicted to continuously grow to become the biggest
rate
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 of
population
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amongst
Change preposition
apply
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all. In 1970,
Malaysia
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 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 almost had similar citizen rates, around 30%. In the following year,
Malaysia
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got
Verb problem
apply
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increased by 10% in
population
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rate
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. As opposed to the
Philipines
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 which only slightly rose to around below1%. In 1990,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 began to step over
Malaysia
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 and its
rate
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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population
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 was almost half of the prior decade, before continuously falling until 2010 to almost 40%, but started to regain in the next 10 years by 5%, rose to 45%. It is predicted to grow in 2030 until the end of the period given and reached its peak above 60%. As opposed to
Malaysia
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, which is not as fluctuate as
Philipines
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. It may be surpassed by
Use synonyms
Philipines
Correct article usage
the Philipines
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 in 1990,
however
Linking Words
, its
population
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rate
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continuously
Replace the word
continues
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 to rapidly grow and is expected to reach a remarkable
rate
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 of people in 2040, which is above 80%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Thailand and Indonesia which are the remaining
countries
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due to
Linking Words
 their
population
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 in the period given are only below 20%. Even though in the following years, these two
countries
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 faced an upward trend, between 1990 and 2020, the
rate
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population
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 of Thailand remained the same which was about 30%. Meanwhile, Indonesia's
population
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continues
Wrong verb form
continued
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 to grow and suppressed two other
countries
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 between 2000 and 2010 which are Thailand (above 20%) and
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Philipines
Correct article usage
the Philipines
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 (above 40%) atau (above 20% and above 40% respectively). Indonesia's
rate
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 of
population
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 has an indication of progress from 2030 until 2040 around 60%.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, population, malaysia, rate, philipines with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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