Questions Human activities is damaging the Earth or making it a better place to live? Do you agree or disagree?

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I agree that human activities
is
Change the verb form
are
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more likely
damaging
Change the verb form
to damage
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the Earth. As
a millennials
Correct the article-noun agreement
a millennial
millennials
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, I found that the
quality
Use synonyms
of
environment
Add an article
the environment
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is decreasing day by day caused
by
Change preposition
of
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minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
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human awareness, there are so many trees
were
Wrong verb form
being
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cut and
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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change
Wrong verb form
have changed
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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function into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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business.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I realize that the
quality
Use synonyms
of
air
Use synonyms
in the big city is not that good as it
already
Add a missing verb
is already
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contaminated with
air
Use synonyms
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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meanwhile the oxygen from trees or
another green plants
Replace the adjective
another green plant
other green plants
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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limited.
This
Linking Words
resulted in the decreasing
quality
Use synonyms
of
live
Replace the word
life
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of people as they breathe the
not so good
Add a hyphen
not-so-good
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air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
, for children
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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, they are has a big chance
to get
Change preposition
of getting
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cough and flu easily. From
this
Linking Words
illustration, we can see how the earth is sick and we, as the people who live in it, need to realize and make some
adjustment
Fix the agreement mistake
adjustments
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iff
Correct your spelling
if
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we want to have a better
quality
Use synonyms
of life. In my opinion, there are two important steps that must be addressed in order to fix
this
Linking Words
problem. First, it should
be come
Change to the active voice
come
have come
show examples
from the government as the regulator. They can make some rules that can
minimizes
Wrong verb form
minimise
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
and decrease the number of deforestation, the government should be the pioneer in supervising these regulations as the citizens will follow the rules.
Second,
Linking Words
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, we need to increase our awareness and put some real actions into our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
, it would be better if we use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation rather than
to drive
Change the verb form
driving
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our own car.
Also
Linking Words
, we can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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plant at home to maximize the circulation of oxygen. It is important for us to do
this
Linking Words
, as the change should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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start from us, and it can be spread to people around us. The small impact can
turns
Change the verb form
turn
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into
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
impact if we do it properly and regularly to create a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better place to live.
Submitted by ayuputriv on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents some relevant points but lacks clear focus and development. The introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened for better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth and detailed development. It needs to provide more specific examples and a better elaboration of ideas to fully address the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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