IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
tourism
Use synonyms
 generates a significant portion of the national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of the developed
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry are a boost to the country’s
economy
Use synonyms
 and a large number of new job openings for the locals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
tourists
Use synonyms
 spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
tourism
Use synonyms
 yields an additional income, which can greatly support the country’s
economy
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 increases the level of employment within a country by creating new jobs in different sectors of the
economy
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the influx of
tourists
Use synonyms
 results in a larger demand for restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel staff and employees of retail services.
Consequently
Linking Words
, business owners are prompted to hire more people to fill these positions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it should be noted that
tourism
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has some major disadvantages like the destruction of popular and pristine tourist destinations
along with
Linking Words
 the development of illegal economic activities. Ancient buildings, temples and monuments are ill-equipped to cope with the vast amount of visitors.
For example
Linking Words
, many
tourists
Use synonyms
 have desecrated world heritage sites like the Great Pyramids of Giza,
due to
Linking Words
 their ignorance and the resulting loss of
such
Linking Words
 precious historical artefacts is immeasurable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the presence of a considerable number of wealthy
tourists
Use synonyms
 often carrying valuables
such
Linking Words
 as cameras and jewellery catches the attention of criminals and
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in an increase in activities like robbery and drug dealing.
However
Linking Words
, proper hospitality management and correct usage of
tourism
Use synonyms
 revenue by the local government can eliminate these disadvantages.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
 can have certain negative effects like the destruction of cultural heritage sites and the growth of the crime rate, it
also
Linking Words
 has an extremely positive influence on
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 and provides a large number of new jobs for the local people. I believe that these benefits of
tourism
Use synonyms
 outweigh its drawbacks. Governments should invest more effort, in terms of time and money, into organizing and managing the
tourism
Use synonyms
 sector.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. The arguments are relevant and comprehensive, supporting the writer's viewpoint effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with clear progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. The ideas are well-organized, and the cohesive devices are used effectively to connect the different parts of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic and descriptive language. There is effective use of lexical resources to express ideas clearly and accurately.
Grammatical Range
The writer shows a strong command of grammatical structures, with accurate use of a variety of sentence types. There are very few grammatical errors, and the language is generally precise and fluent.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: