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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that schools should select their pupils according to their academic ability. others think that it is better for young people with different abilities to be educated together. discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #schools #pupils #ability #abilities
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Schools tend to choose their pupils
according to
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 their
abilities
Use synonyms
. Several
people
Use synonyms
 say that students should be selected
according to
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 their academic level and others say that being educated together will have a good impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 pupils with different
abilities
Use synonyms
. I agree with these two statements
due to
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 everything has positive and negative sides. On the one hand, if
people
Use synonyms
 with two different levels of
abilities
Use synonyms
 study together, they will achieve good marks. Because smart student, who have high achievement encourages other
people
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, that are not educated well to outperform them.
Consequently
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, a little bit stupid student will have more motivation to study harder.
For example
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, a recent study has proved that non-separated classes showed better outcomes than separated classes. Under these circumstances, I think
this
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 idea can provide an excellent education.
On the other hand
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, segregating individuals
according to
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 their achievement can lead to good consequences. Teaching
people
Use synonyms
 with the same
abilities
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 gives
an
Correct pronoun usage
them an
show examples
 opportunity to use particular methods.
Whereas
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,
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apply
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 everyone in the class has good grades and developed logical thinking, a tutor will not anguish from looking for different ways to explain the lesson. Because
,
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apply
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 every pupil understands everything without problems and it will ensure
also
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 good education.
For instance
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, in Kazakhstan, there are schools for children with high academic levels and they contribute to the country`s respect in the world by winning in some Olympiads.
After
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this
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, we can say that separation in the educational system plays a significant role. In conclusion, in my opinion, schools should follow these
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ideas. In order to provide a bright future for our kids.
Submitted by ielts8bandplus on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main point and supports it with relevant examples.
task achievement
Provide a clear position on the issue and support it throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and be cautious with word choice to improve clarity.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy of complex sentences and use a variety of sentence structures.
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