IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every one of us should become a vegeterian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#vegeterian #meat #health
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 in the modern world consider their meal pattern than before
due to
Linking Words
 they want to
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
 diet,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 have a healthy life. So, all of us want to be
vegiterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
due to
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
 will be a
cause
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
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health
Use synonyms
 issues. I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will
eleminate
Correct your spelling
eliminate
 the major reasons for that. Mainly, we want to learn what kind of
neutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritions
contain
Wrong verb form
contained
show examples
 the
meat
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 will help us to decide our eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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red
meat
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 contains proteins and fish contains calcium. If we avoid
this
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
 it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cuase
Correct your spelling
cause
case
to unbalance
Change the verb form
unbalanced
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 and more
health
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 issues.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to consume junk food
such
Linking Words
 as pasta,
buns
Correct word choice
and buns
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 with
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of
carbohydrate
Change to a plural noun
carbohydrates
show examples
 but you can replace
Linking Words
this carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
these carbohydrates
show examples
 with
meats
Use synonyms
 and it will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 your taste and nutrition levels. Most of
dietetions
Correct your spelling
dietetics
dietitians
 advice to take more
protiens
Correct your spelling
proteins
.
However
Linking Words
, most of the protein contains in
meats
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 so we can not avoid
meats
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 and it will prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
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a lot of
health
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 problems
such
Linking Words
 as blood sugar and
cholestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
meat
Use synonyms
 products
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 healthy,
those
Correct word choice
and those
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 products
cause
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
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serious
health
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 problems
such
Linking Words
 as cancer and cholesterol.
Specially
Rephrase
In particular
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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children are addicted to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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junk food like
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 hot dogs. These kinds of unhealthy
meat
Use synonyms
 habits will be more dangerous in the future. In conclusion, eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is not a
cause
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 issues but the way we eat
meat
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 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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for
Change preposition
apply
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health
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
process
Replace the word
processed
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meat
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 and sausages.
Therefore
Linking Words
 we want to avoid those
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
meat
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 but not other
meats
Use synonyms
.
Becasue
Correct your spelling
Because
meats
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contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
 a lot of benefits to our
health
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. But some
people
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 have their personal
beleifs
Correct your spelling
beliefs
 about eating
meat
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, those
people
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 try to be vegetarian. So, I do not agree everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to be
vegeterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
due to
Linking Words
 having
meat
Use synonyms
cause
Use synonyms
 to physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Sa.inaka on

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