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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The given table and charts illustrate the police expenditure between 2017 and 2018 in the UK.
Where the
Rephrase
The
show examples
 table outlines the four different
sources
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Use synonyms
 which accounted
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 millions of
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 sterling, whilst the pie charts provide the rate of how the
budget
Use synonyms
 was distributed.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 showed an increase in 2018
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nearly 15 million.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the income mostly came from the national government source.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, salaries became the most spent category.
During
Change preposition
In
show examples
 2017, the national government was the source where the highest
budget
Use synonyms
 came from, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 around 175.5m, and was almost half of the income from local taxes (91.2m). The other
sources
Use synonyms
 (eg grants) made up the smallest one for 38m. During
this
Linking Words
 year, three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
 of
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 spent on salaries, followed by the rest of the category for building and transport (17%) and technology (8%). In the next year, the amount of money from all
sources
Use synonyms
 rose by 13.9m, to 318.6m.
Likewise
Linking Words
 to what happened in the previous year, the government national still became a majority
budget
Use synonyms
 source for 177.8m, which is 75.5 million more compared to the nominal of local taxes
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provided. The
last
Linking Words
 still came from other
sources
Use synonyms
 for 38.5m. The money was distributed to roughly seven in ten rates counted for salaries (officers and staff) things, and the rest expanded to buildings and transport and technology for 17% and 14% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, budget, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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