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Band 6

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#new #technologies #children #time
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In the contemporary era, the advent of new technologies has significantly transformed how
children
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 allocate their free
time
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.
This
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 paradigm shift raises the question of whether the benefits of these technological advancements outweigh the drawbacks.
While
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 there are notable advantages to the integration of
technology
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 into
children
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's leisure
activities
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, it is crucial to recognize and address the associated disadvantages. One of the primary advantages of
technology
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 in shaping
children
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's free
time
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 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to a vast array of educational resources. Interactive applications, educational games, and online platforms offer engaging ways for
children
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 to enhance their learning experience outside the classroom.
Moreover
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,
technology
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 facilitates global connectivity, allowing
children
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 to explore diverse cultures and perspectives through virtual means.
This
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 exposure contributes to their cognitive development and broadens their understanding of the world.
However
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, there are discernible disadvantages that warrant consideration. Excessive screen
time
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, often associated with the use of technological devices, has been linked to sedentary lifestyles and a decline in physical
activities
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 among
children
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.
This
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 sedentary
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 may lead to health issues
such
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 as obesity and hinder the development of crucial motor skills.
Additionally
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, the pervasive nature of
technology
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 can contribute to social isolation, as
children
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 may prefer solitary screen-based
activities
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 over traditional social interactions.
Furthermore
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, the exposure to inappropriate content and online risks poses a significant concern. Without adequate supervision,
children
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 may inadvertently encounter content
that is
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 not age-appropriate or engage in online interactions that compromise their safety.
This
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 underscores the importance of parental guidance and digital literacy education to mitigate potential harm associated with unrestricted access to
technology
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the integration of new technologies into
children
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's free
time
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 offers undeniable advantages,
such
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 as enhanced educational opportunities and global connectivity, it is essential to address the potential drawbacks. Striking a balance between screen-based
activities
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 and physical pursuits,
coupled with
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 vigilant parental supervision and education, can maximize the benefits of
technology
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while
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 minimizing its adverse effects on
children
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's well-being.
Submitted by deckyridho on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question by stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your conclusion should reflect a clear stance on this balance, making your argument more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Increase the specificity of your examples. While your essay covers the topic broadly, including more detailed examples to support your points would enhance your argument's strength and relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs. Utilizing transition phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more effortlessly, contributing to a better overall flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enrich the readability of your essay. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate a broader range of linguistic capabilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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