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Band 4.5

Many people are worried about cyber-crime and identity theft. What kinds of problems is it causing? What can be done to solve this problem? Give your opinion about that problem.

#people #cyber-crime #identity #theft #kinds
Nowadays, loss of identity in bank accounts, social media accounts, and much more are quite popular, which is known lately as a
cybercrime
.
This
 essay will examine the main causes of
cybercrime
 and provide possible solutions to the problem. To commence with, in former times,
people
 were less savvy about scams on the internet. They are not realized
while
 filling out the form or clicking on the link that has no clear resources, it has the potential to lead to identity steal.
For instance
,
people
 fill out the online form
due to
 terms and conditions for able to get some shopping voucher without knowing that action will bring privacy loss.
However
, there is another thing where
people
 trust easily unknown callers who persuade them about something which requires some data.
For example
, to redeem the prize someone needs to give some information to the speaker, including the address,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
phone number, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bank account without realizing it comes to financial loss and fraud.
Above all
, some possible solutions to
this
 problem are more educate
people
 about crime on the internet
make
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
 them aware
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that, because if someone is mindful, they will prevent some suspicious things from unknown.
In addition
, governments and tech companies should collaborate to tackle all the issues and
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cybersecurity.
To conclude
, many
people
 who are worried about
cybercrime
 will lose their trust in online transactions.
However
, it can be solved by upgrading the regulations through collaboration between the government and tech companies,
while
people
 in education process about
cybercrime
.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

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coherence cohesion
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Address all aspects of the task and provide a more comprehensive response to the topic. Consider exploring different perspectives and providing a more thorough analysis.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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