In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays because of economic and job advancements tons of people are migrating to urban fields
such
as metropolises.
However
, it has downward sides
as well as
positive ones.
Therefore
, in
this
essay, I am going to debate both stances. Most of the residents who live in rural
areas
migrate to big cities because living there is more likely advantageous since it provides many huge opportunities and can bring many merits for people, especially youngsters.
For instance
, in Turkey families have been moving to big cities for either their children's education, improved quality of life, or seeking a job. Because of that, they are able to get better quality services and maintain economic growth and workforce for metropolises.
On the other hand
, moving to other big places from the rural or suburban
areas
has a lot of disadvantages. To put it another way, it supplies overcrowding and strains on urban resources,
in addition
, the young population in pastoral
areas
is able to represent a downward trend
in contrast
with the elder population. At the same time, the lack of a young population might problem in the near future,
in other words
,
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
in there might alleviate.
Consequently
, If
this
situation steadily continues the governments will have to do something
such
as a GAP project in Turkey to ensure a balance between rural
areas
and cities
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
avoid to future problems.
Submitted by Ilgım on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay lacks a clear position on whether the development is positive or negative. The ideas are not fully developed and the examples lack depth and relevance to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is unclear and lacks coherence. The ideas are not well-connected and the progression of ideas is not smooth. The essay would benefit from clearer transitions and a more organized structure.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision. Use of appropriate academic vocabulary and expressions would enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing. Attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy is needed to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: