The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts illustrate how many
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
participates
Change the verb form
participate
show examples
in the Olympic Games between 1924 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of people participating in the
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
generally increased and the majority of
participants
Use synonyms
in each year
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
men. In 1924, more than 3000 people participated in the
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
and the
participants
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
dominated by men with 3000
participants
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
only around 100 women participated. The number of
participants
Use synonyms
increased in 1952 to around 5000
participants
Use synonyms
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender ratio
  • inclusion
  • significant gap
  • gradual increase
  • key Olympics
  • notable increase
  • policy changes
  • closing gender gap
  • socio-political factors
  • feminist movements
  • gender equality
  • parity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: