An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, a vast majority of population of the world
people
want to change and enhance their fairness Use synonyms
by
cosmetic Change preposition
through
surgery
. One of the main Use synonyms
reason
is that Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
want to be attractive and beautiful and it can negatively Use synonyms
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
be impacted
on
their health .
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Change preposition
apply
people
want to change their Use synonyms
appearance
by cosmetic Use synonyms
surgery
Use synonyms
due to
the fact that it Linking Words
make
their faces attractive and beautiful. Change the verb form
makes
Therefore
, in today's world some Linking Words
people
hate them's who have ugly Use synonyms
face
and to prevent it most Fix the agreement mistake
faces
of
Change preposition
apply
people
decide to improve their Use synonyms
appearance
. Use synonyms
For instance
, if they Linking Words
will
improve their faces by cosmetic Verb problem
apply
surgery
, they might increase their career progression. A primary example of Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
Angelina
Joley, Add a missing verb
is Angelina
which
received Fix the agreement mistake
who
bulling
before improving Correct your spelling
bullying
Use synonyms
appearance
Correct pronoun usage
their appearance
her appearance
his appearance
by
cosmetic Change preposition
through
surgery
, after that she became famous and Use synonyms
earnt
a lot of money. Verb problem
earned
Consequently
, over halfLinking Words
Correct article usage
the
decide
to alter their faces by Angelina Joleys method.
One of the main aspects of the problem that Wrong verb form
decided
public
Correct article usage
the public
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
amend
their faces Fix the infinitive
to amend
by
cosmetic Change preposition
with
surgery
is that it can badly Use synonyms
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
on
their health Change preposition
apply
as
cosmetic Change preposition
apply
surgery
remains Use synonyms
very
dangerous type of Add an article
the very
a very
surgery
because Use synonyms
instead
of Linking Words
make
Change the form of the verb
making
people
's
Use synonyms
apperance
better it can make it Correct your spelling
appearance
worser
. Correct your spelling
worse
Furhermore
, many doctors do not Correct your spelling
Furthermore
reccomend
Correct your spelling
recommend
these
type of Correct determiner usage
this
surgery
for all Use synonyms
people
because it Use synonyms
is not study
fully. Change the verb form
is not studied
is not studying
For example
, if Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
will
decide to improve their Verb problem
apply
appearance
, they can lose their type of body. Recent research found that approximately 64Use synonyms
percentage
of Replace the word
per cent
people
who altered their faces Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
losed
their noses because of doctors Correct your spelling
lost
which
were not prepared for Correct pronoun usage
who
this
Linking Words
surgery
.
In conclusion, even Use synonyms
cosmetic
Correct word choice
though cosmetic
surgery
still Use synonyms
remaining
popular and it improve Wrong verb form
remains
fairness
of Add an article
the fairness
people
it can seriously Use synonyms
affected
Change the verb form
affect
on
their health.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay does not fully address the task and lacks clear organization.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear progression and coherence in presenting ideas, making it challenging to follow.
lexical resource
The vocabulary and language used need improvement to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks varied sentence structures.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example