Should young children be encouraged to follow strict rules based on their cultural traditions or allowed to behave freely? Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Is it
Unnecessary verb
It
is
widely known that Unnecessary verb
apply
numeorus
communities are based on cultural traditionsCorrect your spelling
numerous
.
So Change the punctuation
?
that
there is a debate about Correct word choice
apply
children
from this
specific groups, whether Correct determiner usage
these
they
should follow these strict rules or behave freely. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
essay will depict both of these views. In my opinion, children
should stand on their own ground.
Firstly
, children
coming from conservatives
families are more likely to go through behavioural issues as they are banned from attending most motives as it is Change the noun form
conservative
school
that should be Add an article
a school
the school
priority
. Add an article
a priority
the priority
Furthermore
, younger
generation needs to assimilate with their peers which can only Add an article
the younger
by
accomplished by integration that happens in their spare time. Correct your spelling
be
This
lead
to Replace the word
led
zeal
Correct article usage
the zeal
rebellion
of these teenagers.That is why Correct word choice
and rebellion
rigorous
outlook on life can badly influence a child.
Correct article usage
a rigorous
Therefore
, it is crucial that we teach our children
that it is okay to go out once in
a time and not hide behind the scenes. The Change preposition
at
offsprings
have to feel seen, Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
respected
and that no one will force them upon anything as long as they are safe. As well, it is known Correct word choice
and respected
for
strict societies that Change preposition
in
religion
topics are prominent. We should communicate with our descendants that it is their decision if they don't want to follow Replace the word
religious
this
path.
In conclusion, children
should be allowed to freely tell their needs so that parents can have healthy
bond that will Add an article
a healthy
last
forever. Many psychologists say,
Remove the comma
apply
the
youth Correct article usage
apply
that
Correct pronoun usage
who is
is
limited from any social aspects of life are more likely to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
cut
off from their families in the future. From my point of view, kids should be Add a missing verb
be cut
fullfilled
with Correct your spelling
fulfilled
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
as
to accomplish success.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by olaual on
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task response
Expand on your points with more specific examples and elaborate on your opinions.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas by using clearer topic sentences and connecting your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Enrich your vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and the correct use of verb tenses.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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