IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

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In some parts of the world, the fact that young
people
Use synonyms
 are reluctant to vote in an election is still becoming an issue. I believe, there are many reasons that might lead to
this
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problem
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, but the solutions
has
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have
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 to be
hand
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handed
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 over to the government and the
individuals
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 in each
countries
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country
show examples
. The first cause that might be
a
Correct article usage
the
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 reason why
this
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problem
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 exists is
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 politicians have bad track records. Indonesia can
examplifies
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examine
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, where some politicians had done the
coruption
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corruption
 in many
institution
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institutions
show examples
such
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 as education.
This
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 has made the citizens unsure and
untrust
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untrusted
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to
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apply
show examples
them
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apply
show examples
.
As a result
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, they are unwilling to use their rights to vote since they
regard
Verb problem
believe
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 it will not affect anything for
the
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their
show examples
 future
of
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apply
show examples
theirs
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apply
show examples
. The second reason is the
candidats’
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candidates’
mission
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missions
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 are often subtle and unrealistic which can be seen in their campaigns. The
individuals
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 reluctantly consider them in the election. These causes
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 proven that the politicians’ behaviour
are
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is
show examples
 essential to be
assesed
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assessed
.
However
Linking Words
, there are two possible solutions to overcome
this
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problem
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, The governments, in their period have to punish the politicians who did the
coruption
Correct your spelling
corruption
. It will determine the quality of
people
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 who have responsibility for a country in terms of running every
programs
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program
show examples
 in the next period.
Secondly
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, the
individuals
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, particularly young
people
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 of each country should have an awareness of the importance of the candidates’ track records by digging information more and more. They have to utilize the advancement of technology to look for it. In conclusion, even though
this
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problem
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 is still becoming
the
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an
show examples
 issue, by analysing the causes, it still can be tackled not only by the governments but
also
Linking Words
 by the
individuals
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especially
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, especially
show examples
 the young
people
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 in many countries in the world.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear overarching structure to your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be distinct from the others.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing each main point with clear, specific, and relevant examples or explanations that directly relate to the prompt. Where possible, include statistics, dates, or real-world ramifications to support your points.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to answer each question posed by the prompt specifically and explicitly. Ensure you provide a balanced discussion of both problems and solutions.
task achievement
Aim to write clear and comprehensive ideas, making sure each is fully developed and explored within your paragraphs. It's important to elaborate on how each idea links back to the main topic and to include a variety of complex sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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