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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Many
people
 opined that the best way is to accept terrible situations like frustrating jobs and lack of money,
while
 others reckon that it is always better to try and improve these grounds.
This
 essay hopes to discuss these views and
arrives
Correct subject-verb agreement
arrive
show examples
 at a viable conclusion. On the one hand,
people
 are of the opinion that difficulties
such
 as frustrating jobs and
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of money are common to all, and the best situation is to accept
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
 it is. To understand these views, many
people
 consider that they have
work
Change the verb form
worked
show examples
 without knowledge,
enough
Correct word choice
or enough
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. To
say
Verb problem
give
show examples
 an example, they are not able to afford to purchase particular products
such
 as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, clothes and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Thus
,
people
 partly agree that they have been legally obligated to get
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and have
endurance
Add an article
the endurance
an endurance
show examples
 of unsatisfactory work.
On the other hand
, there are many alternatives to improve bad conditions,
according to
 some
people
, developing
such
 conditions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more effective. Unqualified jobs
people
 have these days must be boosted by experience
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
performs
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
 per six months.
For instance
,
while
 individuals will be promoted
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 increasing their experience, they may get a rise to maximum wage. In conclusion, boosting experience is immediately adequate activity, I strongly believe that if
people
 perform
demanding
Add an article
the demanding
a demanding
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in full swing with
high-qualification
Correct your spelling
high qualification
show examples
, they can manage to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
 salary
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they want.
Submitted by munojotbulboyeva on

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task response
Work on providing a clear position on each view and support them with examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more cohesively by structuring your essay with clear introductions and conclusions for each view. Use cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language. Check the use of collocations and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
Focus on sentence structure and reduce errors in grammar, punctuation, and word choice. Use a wider range of sentence structures and tenses.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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