IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many factors motivate people in the workplace. Of these, money is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Working motivation has been attributed to a myriad of sources. Certain individuals are of the opinion that earning is of utmost importance that drives
people
Use synonyms
 to devote themselves to
work
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 I am in consummate accord with the notion, I still think that other contributors including the purpose of the job and healthy competition between
employees
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be regarded as elements motivating
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder. On the one hand, the significance of
money
Use synonyms
 earned by individuals from working has been attached to its paramount importance in fulfilling a desired life and solidifying one’s social status. It goes without saying that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in a financial-oriented way to support other aspects of life
such
Linking Words
 as recreation, education, or healthcare. Without financial means,
people
Use synonyms
 would desperately struggle to equip themselves with knowledge and handle extreme emergencies .
Not to mention
Linking Words
 that the more
money
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 make, the more respect they can gain from others. Social status has long been ascribed to the sound financial stage that each person can reach.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are more dedicated to working to earn more
money
Use synonyms
 with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 aim of achieving higher social recognition and admiration.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are multiple other ways to incentivize
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard without financial involvement. The first motivation comes in the form of healthy competition between colleagues. In a community where workers are challenged against one another to deliver the best results , it will create a drive to
work
Use synonyms
 harder.
This
Linking Words
 should be noted, though, that
this
Linking Words
 healthy competitive attitude can turn into aggressive workplace politics if not supervised. Another motivation is when
employees
Use synonyms
 feel that they are serving a greater purpose in doing their jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, doctors and nurses
work
Use synonyms
 harder than in any other profession because they feel they have the responsibility to save lives. In conclusion, the promise of earning ample
money
Use synonyms
 motivates
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in various ways.
However
Linking Words
, many other incentives
also
Linking Words
 make workers more diligent including job purposes and favorable competition among workers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compensation
  • Incentives
  • Job satisfaction
  • Work ethic
  • Performance-based bonuses
  • Recognition
  • Employee retention
  • Career advancement
  • Work-life balance
  • Monetary vs. non-monetary rewards
  • Gig economy
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Team cohesion
  • Organizational culture
  • Professional development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: