In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Urbanisation
plays
Wrong verb form
has played
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a big role in world development
last
decades enhancing
relocation
Correct article usage
the relocation
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of a lot of people to the cities area.
However
,
this
movement has some drawbacks in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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, indicating a simultaneous increase in urban populations and a decrease in rural populations. Some conservative people tend to assert that urban development has no positive facets. It causes a lack of workforce at farms,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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it can lead to
failure
Correct article usage
the failure
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of natural products and price
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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on
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Furthermore
,
urbanizations
Fix the agreement mistake
urbanization
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experts discuss a consistent upward trend contributing to overpopulation in urban areas.
This
creates some challenges like increased congestion, environmental issues and
stain
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stains
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on urban resources.
Such
a great example could be New York City -
the
Correct article usage
an
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overpopulated place with various challenges.
For example
, there are some ecological problems like poor air and water quality, lack of green space and,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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there is a tough rent situation. On another hand,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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I
also
think, there is a huge plus in moving
population
Correct article usage
the population
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from the villages to the cities.
Firstly
, humans gain
better
Add an article
a better
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quality of life
such
as improved access to education and health care. I have a friend who recently moved to the city, and thanks to that relocation, he is able to receive full medical care support to treat his diabetes.
As well as
, urban migrants start to have a vast range of opportunities for skill development, networking, and realizing their aspirations, offering a transformative journey for those seeking a better life.
For instance
, Karl Lagerfeld gained access to the high fashion world, he worked at the fashion houses like Chanel, Fendi and Chloe. Thanks to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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opportunities he found in Paris, he managed to build his career only after moving to Paris from his native small town. Individuals who once had limited options in their hometowns might now explore careers in technology, entrepreneurship, or the arts. In conclusion, rural-to-urban migration has both positive and negative impacts, but I firmly believe
this
situation is mostly beneficial.
Submitted by bbelozertseva on

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task response
Ensure to address the prompt fully by discussing both positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is mostly logical, but ensure to use transition words and phrases to better connect ideas and improve the coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is quite good, but try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward phrasing and errors. Work on using a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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