IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that international news should be included in the syllabus of secondary school students. Do you agree or disagree?

According to
Linking Words
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 people, global
news
Use synonyms
 should be integrated into
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 course curriculum of schools. I completely agree because it is not only important to stay
abrest
Use the right word
abreast
show examples
 of new events around the
world
Use synonyms
, but
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
also
Linking Words
 encourage students who dislike the
news
Use synonyms
.
he
Use the right word
The
show examples
 main reason why
world
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
 is important is that they are crucial to stay updated with different developments going around the globe.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily helpful in preparing for the competitive exams that test the general knowledge of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 participants.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country , the students who possess proficiency in general knowledge usually perform better in administrative exams
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 consist of many questions regarding current affairs in the
world
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, sharing global
news
Use synonyms
 in schools
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important because students don't prefer to listen to
news
Use synonyms
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
many children complain that
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 boring.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are already overwhelmed with their homework and recreational activities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, mandatory
news
Use synonyms
 time at schools will assist school goers in gaining knowledge about the latest events in the
world
Use synonyms
; without which, it will be
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
show examples
 task owing to their habits and pressure of homework. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will reiterate that
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
news
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 incorporated in school curricula; if it were to come into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
existence, it would not only help in preparing for competitive exams, but
also
Linking Words
 oblige children lacking enthusiasm to gain awareness about
outside
Correct article usage
the outside
show examples
world
Use synonyms
.

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content
Add more clear reasons for your view and explain how school news helps students in real life.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use linking words to show how ideas go together.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling: use capital I, correct subject-verb with plural nouns, and check sentence form.
vocabulary
Use simple, exact words. Avoid long or fancy phrases that can make the point hard to see.
strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
strength
There is a real example about exams to back a point.
strength
The essay has an intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global perspective
  • current affairs
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural awareness
  • empathy
  • language skills
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