Topic: It is important for children to learn difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour children?

At a young age, parents and school always try to teach
children
good
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and social skills, which helps their growth.
Discipline
children
is essential. It is suitable for
children
and necessary for their happiness and well-being. Wiseman already said that kids are a white paper. Their future personalities depend on the ways we write on that paper. For school-age
children
, learning how to manage their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, navigate relationships, respect others, and cooperate with peers. Every
child
will make mistakes, which needs an effective tool
such
as
discipline
. It is as vital for healthy
child
development as nutritious food, physical and cognitive exercises, love, and other basic needs. But
child
discipline
helps them to behave correctly out of a desire to be good citizens and members of their family and society – not because they fear punishment. A
child
who has been taught right from wrong with a solid sense of what is harmful and positive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In
this
process, families and teachers should avoid physical punishment and other cruel or degrading forms.
Instead
, they should be given healthy
discipline
that enables them to realize their mistakes.
For instance
, when the
children
misbehave with mom and dad, they must do house chores or not eat their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
foods,… etc. In conclusion, punishment is not about punishing
children
for doing something wrong but setting clear parameters and consequences for breaking the rules. There is always hope for a new beginning and a brighter day.
Submitted by channguyenhon6 on

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coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay lacks logical flow in places. Use clear paragraphing with topic sentences that signal the start of a new point and ensure subsequent sentences elaborate coherently on that point.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but quite minimal. Aim to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion, summarizing the main points made in the body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are somewhat supported, but they need to be developed further. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
The response answers the task in a minimal way. There is room for a more thorough exploration of the topic. Expand on your ideas and discuss different types of punishment and their effectiveness.
task achievement
The ideas presented tend to be general and require further explanation to fulfill the task requirements. Try to give a clear and detailed line of argument throughout.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. General statements are not as effective as detailed, relevant examples that support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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