Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree

I personally agree that

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

young children can be badly affected by too much

time

spent on the computer daily.

This

is partly because sitting in front of a screen for a long period of

time

can damage both the eyes and physical posture of the kids, regardless of what they are using the laptop for. It is my opinion that

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people’s eyes are easily damaged by looking at the screen for a long period of

time

. Kids tend to use most of their

time

playing electronic games that are often intense and

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

.

For example

,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research shows that 90% of children around the world spend most of their

time

playing virtual games in different places. In as much as some people argue that it is the new technology, I find

this

invalid and

l

totally

disagrees

Correct subject-verb agreement

disagree

show examples

with

this

line of argument. I totally think that

this

line of thinking will affect our

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

and will lead them to too much exposure.

Therefore

l

strongly believe that

screen

Fix the agreement mistake

screens

show examples

can cause harm to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young kids.

Moreover

, the physical

posture

Fix the agreement mistake

postures

show examples

of the boys and girls are likely to be destroyed. Sitting on a

Pc

Correct your spelling

PC

show examples

can cause back, neck and shoulder pains.

For instance

, children tend to forget to eat

while

concentrating on a laptop which may lead to many hours spent on one position. In as much as some people think that it is a new way of learning and studying

l

find

this

illogical for little ones to spend much

time

on desktops. I am of the opinion that they should

a

Add a missing verb

have a

show examples

schedule on when they can use the computers.

To sum up

,

l

powerfully

Rephrase

strongly

show examples

think that computers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

some drawbacks on

teenagers

Change noun form

teenagers'

teenager's

show examples

eyes and physical postures.