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Band 8

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #jobs #men #logic #housework #tasks
Nowadays, a significant increase in full-time female workers has been witnessed, resulting in a heavy debate on equal sharing of
household
 chores. I partly believe that males should
also
 be delegated domestic tasks similar to what females handle at
home
. On the one hand, I am convinced that gender equality should be observed both in the workplace and at
home
. We are no longer living in an era wherein
housework
 management is merely assigned to women since they are now breaking barriers in the workforce. They
also
 have equal rights as men, so they should not be shouldering
household
 tasks alone;
instead
, they should be shared equally with their husbands or every male in the family.
Additionally
, sharing
household
 work has a positive impact on children. If they see their fathers accomplishing the same number of
housework
 duties their mothers conduct at
home
, they learn that
housework
 is a shared responsibility, making them responsible adults and considerate family members.
On the other hand
, I cannot deny that equal division of
housework
 management lacks feasibility, considering genders are not completely alike.
For example
, some men are naturally inclined to
household
 tasks, which is why a growing number of so-called househusbands are common these days. Contrarily, some wives are more detail-oriented as regards homemaking, so they prefer covering most cleaning and washing at
home
 than their husbands.
Also
, it is crucial to recognize that not all households are dual-income.
This
 means that some families may only have the male working full-time,
while
 the other works part-time or is jobless. In
this
 case, unequal distribution of work is understandable. In conclusion, I concur that
although
 equal share promotes gender equality and positively affects children, I cannot ignore the fact that males and females are different and so is their working status.
Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view. However, make sure to address both sides of the argument more explicitly to fully fulfill the task requirement.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are well-developed with supporting examples. To improve coherence and cohesion further, consider using more transition words and cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and appropriate to the topic, with some well-chosen phrases. To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating more academic vocabulary and precise terminology related to the topic.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, with a range of complex structures and a good mix of sentence types. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles to further enhance grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolutionary shift
  • workforce participation
  • shared responsibilities
  • partnership model
  • connected relationships
  • domestic sphere
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • practical challenges
  • technological advancements
  • societal norms
  • distribution of chores
  • physical ability
  • personal preferences
  • alleviate the burden
  • dynamics
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