IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, movie stars and celebrities frequently give their thoughts openly to the public, even though some of them are not related to their jobs. Some consider that
this
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 situation can alter people's lives in a bad way.
Nonetheless
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, I contend that public figures still can have positive influences outside their respective fields. There are some actions that they can do to give positive influences.
To begin
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 with, superstars can use their popularity as a platform to spread good messages. As they are known everywhere, their campaigns reach many people all over the
world
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. The existence of their fans can accelerate the thoughts as well because they are loyal to their idol and follow anything they do.
For instance
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, Selena Gomez posted about a charity on her Instagram, and
then
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 she collected millions of dollars in only one week. I believe
this
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world
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 could be a better place if all celebs did that.
Furthermore
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, they can
also
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 spread motivational values. Their struggles to achieve their dream inspire a lot of kids around the
world
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. Ronaldo’s story is a prime example, his efforts when he was young do not relate to the soccer theme, but his spirit is contagious to children. We can learn from that story that if we keep dreaming and doing our parts, success will come eventually.
However
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, some of them, indeed, share their bad lifestyles on social media platforms. These sorts of things affect teenagers who are not capable enough to decide what is good or bad, yet.
Hence
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, adult supervision is needed in
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 case. Parents can do it by regularly communicating what is currently happening in the celebrity
world
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 and giving some light lectures about that. In conclusion, popular people can act as influencers to disseminate inspirational content
such
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 as charity or spirits to become successful. And for young audiences, parents should guide their children on explicit content.

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introduction conclusion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and meaningful, reinforcing the argument in the conclusion with a summary of key points can strengthen the essay further.
logical structure
While the essay is well-organized, alternating between positive and negative impacts can confuse the reader. It might be more effective to handle pros and cons in separate sections.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides clear, detailed examples to support its main points, such as mentioning specific celebrities like Selena Gomez and Ronaldo.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported and explained, showcasing a good understanding of the topic and a strong effort to address the essay question comprehensively.
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