IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

QUESTION: Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#year #languages #people #life #world #reason
Some
languages
 in some countries
has
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have
show examples
 not been used anymore by people. Some of us think that it is not too important, because they must not speak with those
languages
 anymore. In
contras
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
, others think it is something that we have to concern about. In my view, the disappeared
language
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be our concern because
language
 is a communication between us and our past. It is reasonable because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language
 is our way
to understand
Change preposition
of understanding
show examples
 what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life talked
us
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to us
show examples
 about in the past.
Such
 as, as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indonesians
show examples
, we can fully understand
about
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apply
show examples
what was happening 70 years ago when Indonesia
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 occupied by
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
 through the
language
that
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apply
show examples
used
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time.
Secondly
, the
language
 is the best way to understand people.
Misscommunication
Correct your spelling
Miscommunication
 is happening because of the
language
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
. And the worst
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
 is when we do not understand what the people meant a long time ago.
For example
, we do not know the condition of our own country better just because we do not
get
Verb problem
know
show examples
 the
language
 used before.
Third,
keeping our
languages
life
Correct your spelling
alive
show examples
 is one way to make our country be rich with cultures. In conclusion, I think it is really
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to keep our national
languages
life
Correct your spelling
alive
show examples
.
Submitted by nurfaqihmuh on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the response lacks clear development and relevant specific examples. It is important to fully address each part of the prompt and provide specific examples and logical reasoning to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the logical structure could be improved to create a more cohesive and coherent essay. Using appropriate transition words and structuring the paragraphs effectively can enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The lexical resource and vocabulary choice are adequate, but there is room for improvement in using a wider range of vocabulary and academic language. Additionally, providing more varied and precise vocabulary can strengthen the overall lexical resource of the essay.
grammatical range
While the essay demonstrates a basic control of grammar, there are several instances of grammatical errors, including verb tenses, agreement, and sentence structure. Further practice is needed to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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