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Writing Samples
Band 4

In today's digital era, new technology is very helpful, especially in the economic sector, this is very, many people are helped because of this, and I totally agree with that statement. Overall, the new technology really helped me in doing many things like selling and buying new things.

#era #technology #sector #people
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In today's digital era, new
technology
Use synonyms
 is very helpful, especially in the economic sector,
this
Linking Words
 is very, many people are helped because of
this
Linking Words
, and I totally agree with that statement.
Overall
Linking Words
, the new
technology
Use synonyms
 really helped me in doing many things like selling and buying new things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the development of
technology
Use synonyms
 today is very rapid and
this
Linking Words
 is very deeply felt by all circles, both in the upper and lower classes,
this
Linking Words
 makes it easier for me in my daily activities both want to sell goods and give goods, with the capital of smart devices (mobile phones),
in addition
Linking Words
 can change world civilization,
for example
Linking Words
. When you want to buy goods,
I
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 don't need to leave the house, namely with considerable expenses,
such
Linking Words
 as gasoline costs, parking fees and food costs.
While
Linking Words
 online shopping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
saving all that, just sit at home
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 open
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 cellphone to order whatever I want.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one hand, with
this
Linking Words
 new
technology
Use synonyms
 everyone can do activities from home,
for example
Linking Words
, anyone can now open a business (selling online)
does
Correct word choice
and does
show examples
 not need to rent a place and some even do not need capital at all with affiliates on various social media
such
Linking Words
 as TikTok, Instagram or market places
such
Linking Words
 as
shoope
Correct your spelling
shoppe
, Lazada and Tokopedia, business owners only need to send product samples in the form of clothing, food and more. Anyone can become an affiliate simply
promote
Wrong verb form
by promoting
show examples
 the product and when there is one item sold, the affiliate will get paid up to 15% of the total price promoted. In conclusion, almost all needs can be purchased through social media and
market places
Correct your spelling
marketplaces
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 proves that new
technology
Use synonyms
 is very petrified and provides convenience for everyone.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use clear transitional phrases to link ideas and improve the overall structure of the essay.
Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use of grammar. Work on using a variety of sentence structures and ensure accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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