IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 day and
age
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,
people
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 are exposed to consumptive behaviours. The
age
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group
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was consider
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was considered
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 to
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 the most prominent
factor
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 affecting
habits
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 on shopping. I slightly disagree with
this
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 view and
this
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 essay will explain why other factors were
also
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 significant
reflecting
Change preposition
in reflecting
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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shopping
habits
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. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the topic, the
age
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group
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does
Verb problem
is
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 not always in line with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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’s shopping
need
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needs
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.
People
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 believe that certain
group
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 of
age
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 are
having
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have
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 more needs and wants.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers may have fewer needs and spending
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than adult
people
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. But when
the
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apply
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adults
getting
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get
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 older (>50 years old), they
are tend
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tend
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 to reduce their spending
habits
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.
This
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 phenomenon shows that there are
another
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other factors
show examples
factor
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 that may affect
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people
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people's
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habits
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 in shopping,
hence
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age
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group
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 is not the main variable.
Furthermore
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, there are two other primary reasons that significantly improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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buying
habits
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, which are income and gender.
Firstly
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, the greater the income, the greater
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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 needs and expenditures.
For example
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, a
high salary
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high-salary
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 person will have a high level of
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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,
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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lower
middle income
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middle-income
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 class
people
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 will have limited flexibility to shop in their daily life. As for gender
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factor
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factors
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, we would generally
percept
Correct your spelling
perceive
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 women and men are different in shopping desires. Women are likely to buy trendy fashion or recent beauty products,
while
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 men tend to purchase cutting-edge technology-related products.
Therefore
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,
these evidences
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this evidence
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prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
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 that
person’s
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a person’s
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 earnings and sex aspect are other relevant variables
affect
Correct pronoun usage
that affect
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people
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people's
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 buying
habits
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. In summary, there are many factors considered to influence shopping
habit
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habits
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,
such
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 as economic
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factor
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factors
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 and gender
aspect
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aspects
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,
while
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 the
age
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group
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 is not the only
factor
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 that affects shopping behaviours.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main points and provide a preview or summary of the essay content. Also, make sure to maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed and thorough response to the essay prompt. Include a balanced discussion of the factors affecting shopping habits and their relative significance. Support your ideas with more specific examples and evidence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping habits
  • age group
  • generational differences
  • individual preferences
  • interests
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cultural influences
  • marketing strategies
  • advertising
  • online shopping
  • technology
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