Do the advantages of living in villages outweighs living in cities

In modern society, some individuals assume that it is best to accept unpleasant circumstances,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

an unsatisfactory career or financial issues,

whereas

others share the same thought that it is more practical to strive to cope with these harsh scenarios. My following essay will thoroughly explore both perspectives and explain with opinions. On one hand, it is understandable for people to accept undesirable situations because of their background.

For instance

, there are numerous students whose family is stuck in poverty, so they have to drop out and give up a chance to go to university or

pursuit

Replace the word

pursue

show examples

higher education. If they decide to be postgraduates, their family can be in trouble with a great deal of

tuitions

Fix the agreement mistake

tuition

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which they have to pay for. For fear of being a financial burden to their family, a number of students who come from

low

Correct word choice

the lower

show examples

class consider that the best way is

giving

Wrong verb form

to give

show examples

up higher education,

instead

, they go to work to help their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. To my mind, In

such

cases, acceptance can be regarded as a reasonable solution which we can come up with.

On the other hand

, there are numerous reasons for people to

pursuit

Replace the word

pursue

show examples

for betterment. At

first,

it will give you a chance to improve your living expectancy. When you develop yourself day by day, you will learn new skills,

observe

Correct word choice

and observe

show examples

new knowledge, all of which can be a way to solve your problem. If you keep staying without doing anything, nothing will change. But should you make a huge effort, you will stand a chance to work miracles to have a brighter future. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

mindset. People should not have

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much sense of complacency in harsh situations, but fight for betterment, which I consider as a more effective solution to overcome several severe ordeals. Acceptance or tackling unwanted scenarios both have

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own perks. From my point of view, it is you who decide which is the best solution by flexibly using each method efficiently when you are taken into trouble.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Mon Nov 13 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in analyzing both perspectives. Ensure to provide a more balanced and comprehensive analysis of the given topic, discussing both sides equally with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is adequate, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to effectively frame your argument. Additionally, ensure that your main points are well supported and connected throughout the essay for better cohesion.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary and expressions is fairly good, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and use it accurately to convey your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

Your essay demonstrates basic control of grammatical structures and sentence formation. However, there are instances of errors in verb tenses, sentence structure, and word usage. Strive for more accuracy and complexity in your language use to elevate your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do the advantages of living in villages outweighs living in cities

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

ich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.