Do the advantages of living in villages outweighs living in cities

In modern society, some individuals assume that it is best to accept unpleasant circumstances,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

an unsatisfactory career or financial issues,

whereas

others share the same thought that it is more practical to strive to cope with these harsh scenarios. My following essay will thoroughly explore both perspectives and explain with opinions. On one hand, it is understandable for people to accept undesirable situations because of their background.

For instance

, there are numerous students whose family is stuck in poverty, so they have to drop out and give up a chance to go to university or

pursuit

Replace the word

pursue

show examples

higher education. If they decide to be postgraduates, their family can be in trouble with a great deal of

tuitions

Fix the agreement mistake

tuition

show examples

which they have to pay for. For fear of being a financial burden to their family, a number of students who come from

low

Correct word choice

the lower

show examples

class consider that the best way is

giving

Wrong verb form

to give

show examples

up higher education,

instead

, they go to work to help their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. To my mind, In

such

cases, acceptance can be regarded as a reasonable solution which we can come up with.

On the other hand

, there are numerous reasons for people to

pursuit

Replace the word

pursue

show examples

for betterment. At

first,

it will give you a chance to improve your living expectancy. When you develop yourself day by day, you will learn new skills,

observe

Correct word choice

and observe

show examples

new knowledge, all of which can be a way to solve your problem. If you keep staying without doing anything, nothing will change. But should you make a huge effort, you will stand a chance to work miracles to have a brighter future. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

mindset. People should not have

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much sense of complacency in harsh situations, but fight for betterment, which I consider as a more effective solution to overcome several severe ordeals. Acceptance or tackling unwanted scenarios both have

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own perks. From my point of view, it is you who decide which is the best solution by flexibly using each method efficiently when you are taken into trouble.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Mon Nov 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in analyzing both perspectives. Ensure to provide a more balanced and comprehensive analysis of the given topic, discussing both sides equally with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is adequate, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to effectively frame your argument. Additionally, ensure that your main points are well supported and connected throughout the essay for better cohesion.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary and expressions is fairly good, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and use it accurately to convey your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

Your essay demonstrates basic control of grammatical structures and sentence formation. However, there are instances of errors in verb tenses, sentence structure, and word usage. Strive for more accuracy and complexity in your language use to elevate your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Nowadays, there is a phenomenon that the mean survival time of greybeards in most regions of the world is much higher than in the last decades. Although some individuals are concerned about the several numbers of issues that the government are facing, many experts assume that the consequences of this trend have several positive impacts on the place we live in. I completely support the idea that the increasing age of elders has more disadvantages than benefits, such as the expenditures of health, special facilities, and retirement salary that authorities have to consider and spend on.
7
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The music is a way to connect with other communities without seeing where they come from and how old their. Some people believe music is a good way to bring people from different cultures and ages. Personally, I totally agree with the statements because music can make us closer.
4.5
band
Adult youths are often called up for the working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid others say that they should not be paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The public is divided on the issue of whether the youngster of today should be paid in terms of communal production or whether others believe that they should do this work without taking any remuneration. This statement has a figure of benefits along with drawbacks, and I personally side with the latter view.
5
band
16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is very important to keep architecture in mind for a city when it is planned, so that it could be beneficial for society. Some think that while building up a town it is essential to make parks and sports places for inhabitants. I agree with this statement because it has many benefits for the community.
4
band
A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To extend do you agree ?
People vote and elect their representatives to form a government. In return, the government protects its citizen, which is its core responsibility. To protect people, some argue that government has to spend more budget on defence. I totally disagree with this statement and argue that government need to spend more on social security schemes.

Do the advantages of living in villages outweighs living in cities

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Adult youths are often called up for the working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid others say that they should not be paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To extend do you agree ?