IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #girls #boys #schools #school
Separating
students
 by
gender
 in educational systems is very common in some countries. The are many advantages and disadvantages of
this
 strategy. In the following, I will elaborate on the pros and cons of
this
 method. One of the most crucial advantages of segregated
gender
 in schools is allowing teachers to apply suitable learning methods for each
gender
 and
hence
 improve their academic development.
However
,educators could employ more effective teaching styles that are appropriate to each
gender
, creating more comfortable teaching environments.
Hence
,
students
 can express themselves and increase their confidence. All of these factors would dramatically boost their academic progress.
Furthermore
, separating
students
 by
gender
 would reduce the social stress between
students
 and create a more focused learning atmosphere. Turning to the disadvantages, segregated education could hinder the societal skills of
students
. Undoubtedly, mixed-
gender
 environments allow
students
 exposure to different perspectives and teach them how to communicate effectively with different kinds of people. Separating
students
 by
gender
 would restrict the development of social and communication skills.
Hence
,
this
 is essential to prepare them to work in mixed-
gender
 work environments in the future. Most of the work atmosphere is mixed-
gender
 and is essential to be prepared.
Furthermore
, segregation would reinforce traditional
gender
 stereotypes.
Hence
, it may cause extra challenges
such
 as
gender
 inequality in the community.
To conclude
, separating
students
 by
gender
 has many advantages
such
 as applying suitable teaching methods to each
gender
 and
hence
 boosting learning progress. Meanwhile, it
also
 has many disadvantages
such
 as limiting societal skills and preventing them from exposure to different perspectives.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexcial resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more specific and precise word choices.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but try to vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • segregation
  • discrimination
  • gender-specific
  • distractions
  • focus
  • safe
  • comfortable
  • gender stereotypes
  • social interaction
  • interpersonal skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: