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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #girls #boys #schools #school
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Separating
students
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 by
gender
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 in educational systems is very common in some countries. The are many advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 strategy. In the following, I will elaborate on the pros and cons of
this
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 method. One of the most crucial advantages of segregated
gender
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 in schools is allowing teachers to apply suitable learning methods for each
gender
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 and
hence
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 improve their academic development.
However
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,educators could employ more effective teaching styles that are appropriate to each
gender
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, creating more comfortable teaching environments.
Hence
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,
students
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 can express themselves and increase their confidence. All of these factors would dramatically boost their academic progress.
Furthermore
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, separating
students
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 by
gender
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 would reduce the social stress between
students
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 and create a more focused learning atmosphere. Turning to the disadvantages, segregated education could hinder the societal skills of
students
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. Undoubtedly, mixed-
gender
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 environments allow
students
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 exposure to different perspectives and teach them how to communicate effectively with different kinds of people. Separating
students
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 by
gender
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 would restrict the development of social and communication skills.
Hence
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,
this
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 is essential to prepare them to work in mixed-
gender
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 work environments in the future. Most of the work atmosphere is mixed-
gender
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 and is essential to be prepared.
Furthermore
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, segregation would reinforce traditional
gender
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 stereotypes.
Hence
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, it may cause extra challenges
such
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 as
gender
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 inequality in the community.
To conclude
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, separating
students
Use synonyms
 by
gender
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 has many advantages
such
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 as applying suitable teaching methods to each
gender
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 and
hence
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 boosting learning progress. Meanwhile, it
also
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 has many disadvantages
such
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 as limiting societal skills and preventing them from exposure to different perspectives.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

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task
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexcial resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more specific and precise word choices.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but try to vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • segregation
  • discrimination
  • gender-specific
  • distractions
  • focus
  • safe
  • comfortable
  • gender stereotypes
  • social interaction
  • interpersonal skills
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