Child obesity is becoming a serious public health challenge in many nations. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.
these days, the state of several nations has put extra care
in
Change preposition
on
child's
health regarding the issue of increased number in Fix the agreement mistake
children's
obesity
. this
essay will put forward some causes that contribute to this
condition and propose a few feasible situations to mitigate the situation.
to begin
with, there are some habits that lead children
into
Change preposition
to
obesity
, such
as unhealthy eating habits and lacking
of physical activity. Wrong verb form
a lack
the amount
proportion of food intake every day Correct your spelling
The
are
believed to be Correct subject-verb agreement
is
main
reason Add an article
the main
of
obesities, not only for Change preposition
for
children
but also
on
adults. kids with Change preposition
for
obesity
might not have enough unhealthy food options in their daily meals, or simply because the parents don't have enough education about balance
nutrition that their Replace the word
balanced
children
needs
.
as far as the Change the verb form
need
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
concerned
, Add a missing verb
is concerned
children
also
need to do decent
amount of physical activity. when they are not moving that much, their body can't burn the calories as much as they are taking, Add an article
a decent
therefore
he
fat percentage might go up in Correct your spelling
the
this
situation. also
, the
modern societies might influence Correct article usage
apply
children
to have a sedentary ifestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
instead
of active habits.
to conclude
, the parents have a big role in order to prevent the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
by watching their children
's food and engaging their child to be more active, but the governments also
could play a role by providing more information on nutrition and advertising a healthy life on media.Submitted by andini23 on
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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the causes of child obesity and proposes solutions, meeting the requirements of the task. However, the ideas could be more clearly developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is present, and the introduction and conclusion are included. However, the ideas lack clear organization and linking, which affects coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement in using a wider range of vocabulary and more accurate word choices.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures. However, there are errors in sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and word forms.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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