IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think the media should not report details of crime to the public. What extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #media #report #crime
I agree that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 should report details of
crime
.
Media
 itself is
power
Add an article
the power
show examples
 to inform
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 and spread awareness. Hopefully by exposing the perpetrator, people become aware that if you commit a
crime
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you will get the
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 including
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 will
also
 remember you as a
crime
. The funniest thing here in Indonesia is I see the
media
 put details of the victim and didn't expose the perpetrator
instead
. How sad it is.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, I believe
media
 play a big role
to spread
Change preposition
in spreading
show examples
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 and in
this
 matter can be helpful to make a
crime
 think twice before
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
Submitted by asyifannisakh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt, but there are some points that lack clarity or development.
coherence cohesion
The use of appropriate linking words and clearer paragraph development would enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is adequate, but more varied and precise vocabulary would improve the lexical resource of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are errors that affect the overall clarity and precision of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: