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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.
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The given maps illustrate the layout of an industrial
are
Correct your spelling
area
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 at
Norbiton
Use synonyms
 in the
present-day
Correct your spelling
present day
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 and how it will be developed in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, there will be immense developments and rearrangements in the site,
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
the construct
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construct
Replace the word
construction
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more
Change preposition
of more
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 residential completed with many facilities. In
nowdays
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nowadays
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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,
theres
Correct your spelling
there
 is a
river
Use synonyms
 running east-west across the
Norbiton
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industral
Correct your spelling
industrial
 area with the farmland on the north of the
river
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 and the town
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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on the west end of the industrial area.
Likewise
Linking Words
, to the
river
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, there is
one
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 road that
running
Change the form of the verb
runs
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 east-west through the industrial field, and
one
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 side of the road leading to the roundabout
surrounded
Add a missing verb
is surrounded
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 by three
factories
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the roundabout
also
Linking Words
 has
one
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 side that
fullfiled
Wrong verb form
is filled
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 with many
factories
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. In the future, all the
factories
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 will be demolished and switched with several
residentials
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residential
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 and amenities nearby. It
is appeared
Change to the active voice
appears
has appeared
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 in the layout that the
river
Use synonyms
 location remains unchanged, except
fot
Correct your spelling
for
 the T-road that will
be build
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be built
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 above the
river
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 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is leading to the new
redisential
Correct your spelling
residential
 beside the farmland. The roundabout will
also
Linking Words
 have
one
Use synonyms
 more side that functioned as
an
Remove the article
apply
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access to the
resdientials
Correct your spelling
residents
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in a planned future development, the
Norbiton
Use synonyms
industrial
Capitalize word
Industrial
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 will be installed little roundabout to the south of the current
one
Use synonyms
, and later
there
Correct pronoun usage
a
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 will shops constructed
on
Change preposition
apply
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its northwest and medical centre on the southeast.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the
factories
Use synonyms
 which once filled the east of the
Norbiton
Use synonyms
indsutrial
Correct your spelling
industrial
 will be
clear
Wrong verb form
cleared
show examples
 up and replaced by residentials with facilities nearby it,
such
Linking Words
 as playground and school.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words norbiton, river, one, factories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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