Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

#pastime #people #activities

In today's consumer-driven society, shopping has become a popular pastime among young people. In

this

essay, I will delve into the reasons for

this

trend and present my perspective on whether they should be encouraged to do other useful

activities

. One reason why shopping is a

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

pastime for many young individuals is the excitement of new

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

For example

, buying new clothes and accessories can provide them

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

sense of thrill and fulfilment.

Moreover

, shopping offers valuable opportunities to socialize with friends and family. In fact,

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apply

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recent research has shown that a number of high school students go to the malls simply to spend time with their friends.

However

, I strongly believe that other meaningful

activities

should be encouraged.

While

shopping can be enjoyable and satisfying, it

also

promotes unnecessary

consumptions

Fix the agreement mistake

consumption

show examples

For instance

, numerous advertisements online can

affect

Verb problem

cause

show examples

young individuals to purchase more items more often, contributing to

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apply

show examples

financially reckless behaviour.

Thus

, encouraging more productive

activities

such

as sports or volunteering, can be beneficial for young people in terms of living

Add an article

a more

show examples

balanced and fulfilling life. In conclusion, shopping has become a

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

pastime among young individuals

due to

the excitement of new

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

and the social aspect associated with it.

While

shopping can be advantageous, it

also

has some drawbacks.

Therefore

, I believe it is crucial to encourage young people to engage in other useful

activities

. By promoting a balance between shopping and other pursuits, they can lead more well-rounded lives.

Submitted by dy030 on Mon Nov 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic and supports the overall argument.

task achievement

Provide a more balanced view by addressing potential opposing perspectives to strengthen the argument.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and eloquently.

grammatical range

Use a wider variety of grammatical structures to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the English language.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pastime
encouraged
useful activities
self-expression
creativity
sense of accomplishment
satisfaction
social interaction
bonding
escaping
daily routine
stress
instant gratification
pleasure
keeping up
trends
fashion
exploring
products
experiences
boosting
self-confidence
supporting
local businesses
economy
discovering
personal style
preferences

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these veiws and give your own opinion.

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweighs the disavantages?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?