When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, it is usually believed that the additional economic edification would not increase its resident’s happiness. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

point of view. First and foremost,

people

should recognize the fact that economic wealth is only a part of human satisfaction;

therefore

, it can only please

people

to a certain extent. There is no denying that meeting enough dweller's economic needs resulting from the

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

nation can cause a surplus of other properties is no longer desirable.

Furthermore

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

further

justification which should no be neglected here is that the inhabitant’s happiness is not only based on financial growth but

also

relied

Wrong verb form

relies

show examples

on specific

own

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

needs that the money cannot bring. A good case in point would be that

people

who have a prolonged disease, always wish themselves would be healthy. On in other hand, there are some reasons against the statement that the extra growth in a nation's economy would not make its citizens happier. The top-notch concrete reason is that the financial growth brings out a lot of money that can tackle most of the problems namely the city’s infrastructure, the road system…leading to

people

enjoying a better life quality. It is important to remember that the opportunity for advancing technology

due to

the abundance of property can make

people

easily access a variety of benefits in their lives.

For example

although

the advancing technology applied to medicine cannot save resident’s lives, it can prolong their lifespan beyond their expectation. In conclusion, I partly support economic development in countries with abundant wealth that can still bring happiness to their dwellers.

However

, each of us should consider carefully before reaching the final decision on

this

issue.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Mon Nov 13 2023

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Task Response

Address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer stance on the issue. Support your points with relevant examples and arguments to fully address the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently and ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases to convey meaning effectively. Also, ensure the use of collocations to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Vary sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical structures with accuracy and clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that may cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? How government should encourage people to reduce using their cars.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?