When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #wealth #citizens

In recent times, it is usually believed that the additional economic edification would not increase its resident’s happiness. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

point of view. First and foremost,

people

should recognize the fact that economic wealth is only a part of human satisfaction;

therefore

, it can only please

people

to a certain extent. There is no denying that meeting enough dweller's economic needs resulting from the

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

nation can cause a surplus of other properties is no longer desirable.

Furthermore

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

further

justification which should no be neglected here is that the inhabitant’s happiness is not only based on financial growth but

also

relied

Wrong verb form

relies

show examples

on specific

own

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

needs that the money cannot bring. A good case in point would be that

people

who have a prolonged disease, always wish themselves would be healthy. On in other hand, there are some reasons against the statement that the extra growth in a nation's economy would not make its citizens happier. The top-notch concrete reason is that the financial growth brings out a lot of money that can tackle most of the problems namely the city’s infrastructure, the road system…leading to

people

enjoying a better life quality. It is important to remember that the opportunity for advancing technology

due to

the abundance of property can make

people

easily access a variety of benefits in their lives.

For example

although

the advancing technology applied to medicine cannot save resident’s lives, it can prolong their lifespan beyond their expectation. In conclusion, I partly support economic development in countries with abundant wealth that can still bring happiness to their dwellers.

However

, each of us should consider carefully before reaching the final decision on

this

issue.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Mon Nov 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer stance on the issue. Support your points with relevant examples and arguments to fully address the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently and ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases to convey meaning effectively. Also, ensure the use of collocations to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Vary sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical structures with accuracy and clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In our era, advertising is becoming more and more aggressive and targeted even at children. There is an opinion that such activities can have a negative influence on youngsters and must be banned. It is agreed that kids aimed advertising is not a boon and should be abolished. This essay will shed some light on the issue and provide the writer's point of view.
6.5
band
These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, due to the developments and globalization, ordinary people are also able to travel overseas more than previous generations. Although, tourism can be a benefit for countries, travelling abroad with new developments such as aeroplanes might have its own drawbacks. This essay will discuss both views and conclude which side of the argument outweighs the other.
5
band
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this day and age, it is a common belief that university students had better be imposed on attending classes, while others enunciate the idea that it may be better for them to have the right to go to classes on their own. From my perspective, I concur with the latter opinion.
6
band
There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?
Throughout the world, there is still plenty of poor populations despite the fact that in these countries the majority of people live on welfare and continue increasing their wealth. I personally believe that this condition happened because of government policy and the rich community can help by giving funds to a variety of charities.
4.5
band
It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.
It is critical for all people, including teenagers, to save money for their future. In fact, it is extraordinary for individuals to save their money for the black day. In my point of view, I agree with this occasion for two obvious reasons.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+