IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The bar chart details average daily sales by total number of servings at a restaurant according to season.

#bar #sales #servings #restaurant #season
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The diagram below demonstrates food sales in two distinct seasons on a daily basis
overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of
servings
Use synonyms
 of Soup and Hot coffee provided in
winter
Use synonyms
 was
above all
Linking Words
 other nutritions.
moreover
Linking Words
,
representation
Correct article usage
the representation
show examples
 of salad shared a similar trend in both
winter
Use synonyms
 and summer
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is noticeable that Hot coffee and soup were the most demanding dishes in
winter
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being served about 75 and 50
servings
Use synonyms
 a day, respectively.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
salad
Correct article usage
the salad
show examples
 trade chased no difference between
winter
Use synonyms
 and summer with an average sales of around 25
servings
Use synonyms
 per day. focusing on summer, a great preference for Iced coffee and Ice cream is being seen as the former was sold 40
servings
Use synonyms
 and the latter 25 dishes per day.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overview of the main trends shown in the chart. It is important to provide a well-structured overview of the information.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task requirements. It presents some relevant ideas and examples but fails to provide a comprehensive and clear response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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