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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Cambridge English 16

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Cambridge English 16
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The diagram shows the process involved in the production of instant noodles.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 8 steps
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mixing
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooking and drying
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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labelling and sealing one In the beginning, the flour is transported from the silos where it is usually stored to a mixer, where it is mixed with water and oil. Next, the mixture passes through several rollers to form some dough sheets. The dough sheets are
then
Linking Words
 cut
in
Change preposition
into
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 strips and
then
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 turned into discs that are cooked in oil and dried just after. Once the cooking process is completed, the instant noodles are put into cups, where various vegetables and spices are added.
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Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 the cups are labelled
and
Correct word choice
apply
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sealed, and ready to be delivered

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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