Some people think the most important thing about being rich is that it gives a person an opportunity to help other people, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

There is no denying the fact that how rich

people

help can be a debatable subject.

While

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

It is a commonly held belief that some

individuals

believe that the opportunity to help other

people

should be important to rich

individuals

. there is

also

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that being rich does not automatically mean someone will help

others

To begin

with, Being rich provides means that he can help

others

in need.

In other words

, it can use his relationship to help someone get a job.

In addition

, Rich

individuals

can fund education and healthcare initiatives.

For example

, they can allocate capital

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for building schools and hospitals. Another point to consider is that Financial resources can be used to support charitable organizations. It is

also

possible to say that,it will help in providing stable resources that can help

individuals

in need.

Moreover

, Being able to help

others

brings a sense of fulfilment and purpose.

For instance

, there was a study done in 2015 which supported the idea and it said that 80% of rich

individuals

have a positive effect on their lives. In conclusion, despite

people

having different views, I believe that it is important for rich

individuals

to have an opportunity to help

others

because its positives outweigh its negatives, I suggest that rich

individuals

make programs that help to improve other

people

Submitted by abdelaah.12 on Mon Nov 13 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear but somewhat one-sided view on the topic. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to fully address the task.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents cohesive ideas. However, there's a need for better organization in the introduction and conclusion to improve coherence.

lexical resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary but with inconsistent accuracy. More precise and appropriate vocabulary related to the topic should be used to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay shows good control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice. Pay attention to accuracy and consistency in sentence formation and word usage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think the most important thing about being rich is that it gives a person an opportunity to help other people, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

6.Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Lately, your company has informed you that you will be taking a lead role in an upcoming management project. Write a letter to a senior asking for guidance and request him/her to share his/her experience with you.

Some people think the government should pay health care and education, but others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.