Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sporting activity have been a trendy issue worldwide. It is often argued that some individual countries succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
by providing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
special facilities to coach highly professional
competitors
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
it should be a replacement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
supplying a space for the majority to use.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain
Correct article usage
the
show examples
negative advancement of
this
Linking Words
notion.
While
Linking Words
the talented
players
Use synonyms
are gaining more skills during training, the upcoming
players
Use synonyms
will lack skills because of restricted training
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
case , the
sports
Use synonyms
sectors are disadvantaging new contestants and other contestants who are in the line of achieving their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. It is focusing more on people who are always winning all the time. They are trained by top coaches ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
advanced and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
being monitored thoroughly
hence
Linking Words
they will always remain successful. But
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
competitors
Use synonyms
who are not
known
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they lack knowledge , skills, ideas and training
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the end they will give up on their talents.
Moreso
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
the professional
players
Use synonyms
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not remain young, in the long run
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
they will grow old and the next
players
Use synonyms
will be incompetent. I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
management must involve everyone
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
training so that they will be able to learn from their legends and gain more experience.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
rise to
dicrimination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
in
sports
Use synonyms
whereby only
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
player
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
special training
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Some
competitors
Use synonyms
will feel being looked down upon with
this
Linking Words
criteria and it is
also
Linking Words
favouratism
Correct your spelling
favouritism
. They will end up quitting
Add an article
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
and
open
Wrong verb form
opening
show examples
a new chapter where they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
feel welcomed. It is a pity that the young trainees will not have an opportunity to see the experts training. I opine that they should be trained equally in the world of
sports
Use synonyms
and they should implement policies that guard against discrimination. In conclusion,young
players
Use synonyms
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
experience in training because the coaches
focuses
Change the verb form
focus
show examples
on
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
players
Use synonyms
. There is
also
Linking Words
segregation which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
other unfortunate
competitors
Use synonyms
to give up on
sports
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ymhariwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt, but there are some areas where the response is unclear or lacks development. Ensure that the ideas are fully expanded and directly linked to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure, but there are areas where logical connections between ideas are lacking. Work on improving the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice and usage could be improved. Try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary and use it accurately.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are issues with punctuation, tense usage, and subject-verb agreement. Pay close attention to grammar and sentence structure to avoid errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: