IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The figure gives information about smoking habits of the UK population by age. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#figure #information #habits #uk #population #age #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
he
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 given line graph illustrates the proportion of spending on mobile phones, inside and outside
fixed-line
services
 in the USA from 2001 to 2010.Units are measured in
dollars
.
Overall
, it is obvious that the percentage of cell phone
services
 showed an upward trend throughout the period,
whereas
 the number of
services
, which are focused on national
fixed-line
, dropped significantly in the same period.
On the contrary
, spending on international
fixed-line
services
 demonstrated a slight rise between 2001 and 2010. In more detail, regarding foreign
fixed-line
services
 , it was at approximately 250
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 at the start of the period , before the index began to rise slightly to around 300
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2003,
however
, it remained steady at the same level from 2003 to 2010. The consumption of cell phone service equalled almost 200
million
 in 2001, but it started to increase dramatically to less than 800
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2010.
By contrast
,the spending on national
fixed-line
 service reached about 700
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in the first year,
on the contrary
, it demonstrated a sharp decrease from 2002 to 2010. The figure for American
fixed-line
 service was at roughly 400
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2010.
Submitted by marynchukangelina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific and accurate data where possible to support the main features.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas, using cohesive devices to connect and organize information.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and utilize a wider variety of words.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and avoid repetitive use of the same structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: