Some people say that students should take a gap year after high school to work. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

It is argued that nowadays many people say that
students
should take a
gap
year
before entering
university
to gain more
experience
.From my perspective, I completely agree that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should take a
year
off after graduating before entering
university
. On the one hand, it is true that there will be many benefits if
students
take a
gap
year
. An explanation for
this
is that they can take time to make a suitable decision about what major and what job to study.
For example
, many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
after high school are hurry to enroll in
university
without prior planning, so after studying for a
while
, they feel they are not suitable so they change majors and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
a lot of time.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
that,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a
gap
year
can
enrichs
Correct your spelling
enrich
enriches
their life
experience
.
In other words
,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a
year
off gives
students
a great opportunity to learn new things outside that they are not taught in school.To illustrate they can meet people and learn about their culture, make friends to expand their relationships or
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
more diverse cultures when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
or working, they can enrich themselves with
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
they didn’t know previously so their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
will be enhanced.
On the other hand
, it should be acknowledged that taking a
gap
year
creates problems. Specifically, they will suffer from peer pressure and feel left behind.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
students
who enter school later have difficulty adjusting to the
university
environment and most jobs for
gap
year
takers are not valuable (because they have no
experience
).
For example
, statistics found
26
Correct word choice
that 26
show examples
% of
students
who take a
gap
year
never enter tertiary education.
As a result
,these
students
have no interest in learning and cannot catch up with their classmates,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
they fail to gain useful
experience
and waste one
year
. In conclusion,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a
gap
year
has
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
advantages and
disvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. If they determine
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
effort they will have more favourable.
Submitted by my251e3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given prompt and fully answers all parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Create a more coherent and well-structured essay by organizing your ideas in a logical manner with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express your ideas. Be cautious of word choice and word form.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, tenses, and accurate use of punctuation. Vary sentence structures to demonstrate a good command of grammar.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: