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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that students should take a gap year after high school to work. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#people #students #gap #year #school #work
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It is argued that nowadays many people say that
students
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 should take a
gap
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year
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 before entering
university
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 to gain more
experience
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.From my perspective, I completely agree that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should take a
year
Use synonyms
 off after graduating before entering
university
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. On the one hand, it is true that there will be many benefits if
students
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 take a
gap
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year
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. An explanation for
this
Linking Words
 is that they can take time to make a suitable decision about what major and what job to study.
For example
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, many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
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 after high school are hurry to enroll in
university
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 without prior planning, so after studying for a
while
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, they feel they are not suitable so they change majors and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
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 a lot of time.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 can
enrichs
Correct your spelling
enrich
enriches
 their life
experience
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.
In other words
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,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
year
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 off gives
students
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 a great opportunity to learn new things outside that they are not taught in school.To illustrate they can meet people and learn about their culture, make friends to expand their relationships or
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
 more diverse cultures when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or working, they can enrich themselves with
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
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 they didn’t know previously so their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 will be enhanced.
On the other hand
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, it should be acknowledged that taking a
gap
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year
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 creates problems. Specifically, they will suffer from peer pressure and feel left behind.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
students
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 who enter school later have difficulty adjusting to the
university
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 environment and most jobs for
gap
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year
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 takers are not valuable (because they have no
experience
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).
For example
Linking Words
, statistics found
26
Correct word choice
that 26
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% of
students
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 who take a
gap
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year
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 never enter tertiary education.
As a result
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,these
students
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 have no interest in learning and cannot catch up with their classmates,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 they fail to gain useful
experience
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 and waste one
year
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. In conclusion,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
gap
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year
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 has
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 advantages and
disvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. If they determine
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 effort they will have more favourable.
Submitted by my251e3 on

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