IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her Suggest types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Annie, Nice to hear from you after
such
Linking Words
 a long time. I appreciate that you are asking my opinion on deciding whether going to college is best for you or getting a job. I think you’d better find a job and I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you why. First of all, we've known each other since we were 10 years old. I know your character. Don't waste your time and energy in college. You are an active girl, you can't just sit in theoretical classes, take notes, memorize them and pass exams. You like to experience them actively and freely.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, you always told me that you want to leave your
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
 house and be independent. So it is the best time to work and income.
While
Linking Words
 higher education costs you a lot. And
finally
Linking Words
, I think you should work in music. You were one of the best guitarists in high school. Why don't you continue in
this
Linking Words
 field? You can teach children and adults how to play guitar
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 having a part-time job as a guitar player in restaurants or bars. I hope you make the best decision. I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Sahebe
Submitted by sahebe.jalali on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure a clearer and direct response to the given prompt. Provide more specific reasons and explanations as to why getting a job is a better choice for the friend's situation.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the letter. Organize the ideas more coherently to make the letter easier to follow and understand.
lexical resource
Enhance the variety and appropriateness of vocabulary used in the letter. Consider using more diverse and sophisticated vocabulary to convey the ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Diversify the sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical constructions. Incorporate complex and compound structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: