In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

#countries #people #health #food #government #tax

Nowadays, the development of cities is becoming faster and faster, meanwhile,

people

used to eat fast

food

to higher their working efficiency as

people

can finish their lunch within 15 minutes.

However

, fast

food

is not good for human

health

and it may cause several

health

problems.

As a result

, the higher rax rating of the government is said.

This

essay will show my point of view.

First,

imposing a higher

tax

can reduce the frequency of

people

buying fast

food

People

are not willing to purchase any stuff

that is

more expensive than they expected. After the higher

tax

rating, the price of fast

food

will be increased based on the original price.

People

may tend to have other types of

food

rather than spend non-suitable money to buy fast

food

Therefore

, imposing a higher

tax

can reduce the frequency of

people

buying fast

food

due

Correct word choice

and due

show examples

this

reason, the

health

people

will be improved.

On the other hand

, it can

also

reduce the number of fast-

food

shops. In order to run a

shop

, a large amount of capital should be used on the land

renting

Change the form of the verb

rent

show examples

, the cost of raw materials and the cost of hiring workers. Under the higher

tax

on fast

food

, the

shop

owner may not want to spend more extra money, so, they will not make the choice of opening a fast

food

shop

. It implies that

this

policy can effectively reduce the number of

fast

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

food

shops.

Therefore

people

may have fewer opportunities to find a fast

food

shop

and have dining.

Due to

the less of eating fast

food

, the

health

people

will

also

be improved.

To sum up

although

people

are hoping to have only short dining in their breaking time, and keep working, it is impossible that they can still work in a negative

health

situation. There is nothing more important than

people

health

, imposing a higher

tax

can help to solve the

health

problem.

Therefore

, I strongly agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

argument.

Submitted by asllchkied on Tue Nov 14 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt and fully develops the arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is somewhat effective, but there is room for improvement in the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a fairly good range of vocabulary and uses specific examples to support the points effectively.

grammatical range

The grammatical range is satisfactory, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word usage that could be addressed for a higher score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Overconsumption
Chronic diseases
Obesity
Diabetes
Cardiovascular health
Sin tax
Subsidize
Affordability
Nutritional awareness
Paternalism
Socio-economic disparities
Industry lobbying
Public health initiatives
Consumer behavior
Regulatory measures
Health-conscious
Processed foods
Fiscal policy
Preventative healthcare
Behavioral economics

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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure a growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its efforts on uplifting the less fortunate? Discuss both views.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Medical professionals such as doctors and nurses from poorer countries migrate to richer countries. What problems arise Frome this situation? What are the solutions to these problems?