IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?

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In
this
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 day and age, the tendency of young people is less spend
time
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 on outgoing
activities
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 that have an enormous benefit for health
such
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 as hiking, and climbing,...
This
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 problem has several reasons and we can improve it in many ways.
This
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 has a lot of problems that the first and foremost the main subject is the developed technology. In the contemporary world,
due to
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 the dramatic technological devices, young people frequently use it a number of times.
Therefore
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,
this
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 lead to that they could not have much
time
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 for other outdoor
activities
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.
In addition
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, the average work
time
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 is 8 hours at any rate resulting in them having the ability to arrange
time
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 to relax or balance life.
Furthermore
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, in many situations, they are a workaholic leading to work all the
time
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 regardless of the weekend. We have several solutions to encourage
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, use the increasing internet to solve which run a large of strategy about the benefit for the health of participating to physical
activities
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. As an example, we can create a run strategy in TikTok and give gifts to the candidates. Another way is to encourage the company that calls their employees to attend outdoor
activities
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 by organizing the contest. In summary,
this
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 is a foremost problem in age
time
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 that has reason happening and could be solved in many ways. I am a young person so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I am aware of
this
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 consequence of
this
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 subject.
Thus
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, I should do physical
activities
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 and encourage to my friend do it.

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task response
Improve clarity and relevance of ideas to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structure and coherence between ideas.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use appropriate expressions.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of grammatical structures with more accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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