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Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some
people
 say that it is vital to suffer bad circumstances like unfulfilling jobs or lack of money,
while
 others believe that these
situations
 should be developed.
This
 essay will explore both viewpoints and offer my personal assessment of the situation. On the one hand, undesirable
situations
 increase
self determination
Add a hyphen
self-determination
show examples
. It means that
people
 tend to mature and become more independent on hard occasions.
In addition
, anxiety and tension levels may be minimised since hardships
such
 as money problems improve
contentments
Fix the agreement mistake
contentment
show examples
 and thankfulness.
In other words
, unsatisfactory occupations and financial problems make
people
 appreciate their abilities and positions and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 try to be the best. As an example, Iranian famous
people
's lives demonstrate that most of them suffer difficulties and develop their personality and their
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
due to
 thankfulness.
On the other hand
, generating opportunities and obtaining better possibilities is a key to living a happy life. It means that
people
 should pursue personal development and acquire new abilities to increase satisfaction. Since satisfaction has a positive impact on emotional stability and mental health. In conclusion, it is argued that bad
situations
such
 as financial problems and unsatisfactory jobs should be suffered,
however
, others say that high efforts are needed to change the situation.
Although
 there is a potential to develop
situations
, I believe that difficulties improve
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 and create
meaningful
Add an article
a meaningful
show examples
 life.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the two viewpoints and your opinion. Use the introduction to set the stage for the rest of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph is logically connected and builds on the previous one. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar complexity. Vary your sentence structures and use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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