Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from univei rsity in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communities have been selecting to reside
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad after their higher degree.
As because
Change preposition
Because
show examples
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
, in their home
country
they
donnot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
have enough
oppertunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
what they are expecting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In my opinion,
dwell
Wrong verb form
dwelling in
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
foreign
country
is a good option to choose. in the following
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
eassy
Add a comma
eassy,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my point of view. first of all,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas there are lots of
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
,
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, and a secure
job
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,
a fresh graduates
Correct the article-noun agreement
fresh graduates
a fresh graduate
show examples
can do
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
he/she wants,
moreover
, they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
need any kind of experience to find a
job
. not only
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
but
also
they can open a new business
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
right away.
For example
, In
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graduates can
many
Add a missing verb
have many
show examples
options for
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
in many fields
whereas
, in Bangladesh a
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
show examples
hardly find a
job
either, he/she
manage
Change the verb form
manages
show examples
a
job
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
minimum wage a ten times less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a developed countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
developed countries
a developed country
show examples
.
On the other hand
, after completing a degree if most of the rabble goes
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad it is a great loss for a home
country
. In future,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
have to lead the
nation
but if the fresh graduate goes to
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
nation
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
might be a lack of development in various department
likeas
Correct your spelling
like
,
infustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, engineering and many other.
For instance
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistics shows that 65%
fresh
Change preposition
of fresh
show examples
graduate from reputed universities
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
Bangladesh
are going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to different countries after
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
gratuation
Correct your spelling
graduation
. for that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
the
country
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
.
overall
, everyone wants a good life for that they need a good environment and many other
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oppurtunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
,
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
system and so on. In a developed
country
the education system and
job
facilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
five times
batter
Correct your spelling
better than
show examples
then
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
county usually people are willing to move
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
nation
f or their future home.
to sum up
,
Become
Wrong verb form
Becoming
show examples
a part of a
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
development is a pride but in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
are lots of
opputunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to become succeed so,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
to go abroad to lead a good
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and does not provide a clear preview of the main points to be discussed. The conclusion is not well-summarized and does not reinforce the main ideas presented in the essay. Focus on structuring a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay and provide a logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay presents some relevant points but lacks depth and development. The examples provided are not well-elaborated, and the supporting details for the main points are insufficient. To improve coherence and cohesion, develop each main idea with supporting details and elaborate on the examples to provide a more thorough discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: